Wednesday, July 02, 2008

And really, at the end of the day, Clarissa, it's just a party

OK, so I have been really low stress about the wedding stuff. Or anyway, I had been. Up until, oh, last weekend really.

People kept saying, "You must be so stressed!"

Not really. We've been pretty low key about most things. We're not getting all detail-y. We've been proud of ourselves for how not-stressed we've been.

Until Nick's mother came up with five more couples who needed to be invited. Not three months ago when we asked. Not two months ago. Not even one month ago.

On Sunday.

Sunday being two days after we received all our invitations from the printer. All our invitations meaning a few extras to make an even number. Not five extra.

Because we had their people. Or anyway, we thought we did.


So we decided that we could use the three extras, and his parents and one sister would not get invites; instead, theirs would go to his parents' friends. And then we would have enough.

He explained this unfortunate situation to his parents, who didn't really have room to not be understanding, having been asked multiple times for their people. Somehow, the timing or the urgency or something just never clicked with his mom earlier.

If you think I didn't lose my shit over this, you're mistaken. If you think I didn't rant to every one of my friends, you overestimate me. And if you've never seen me lose my shit, it's not pretty.

Betty and Maude both said we could not send them invitations. They'd donate theirs to the cause. And I replied?

"I'll be damned if I'm not sending you invitations. They are pretty. I want you to have one. YOU ARE GETTING AN INVITATION."


With a directive like that, all you can say is, "Great! Can't wait! OKloveyoubye!"

But the good news is, we're not very organized with this. My The List was not entirely Nick's The List. Or rather, the one he thought was The List. Which was the one sitting on his desk from when we did the magnets. Not the one I have in Google Docs (thanks to awesome recommendations from VVK and HKW).

Yes, I know we went through this with the magnets. And still we didn't learn. We have learned.

So back to the good news. There were a couple people in the Nick column on my The List that had dropped off of Nick's version. So it looks like we will be OK on invitations.

Me. I'm getting all stressed and upset and spreadsheety and shit-losing-y over pieces of paper. For a party.

I don't like it.


  1. but it's a pretty big deal of a party

    (i'm with you about the not getting too stressed thing, although i'm not currently planning a wedding, when i am i plan on not being any of those girls on the shows i watch :)

  2. It is a big deal of a party, and the thing is... it's not like you're getting stressed over yourself. You're stressed over the way your invitees - the people will feel and perceive the paper and the end results of the spreadsheeting, and how that will affect your future dealings - with Nick's family, for example.

    And the lovely thing, is that the people you hold dear, the ones you've gathered about yourself over the years, are not the ones about whom you're stressing. It sounds like they are lovely. Which is something fĂȘte-worthy, indeed.

  3. oh barf. this is ridiculous.

    don't fret pet, the hard part is over. At least the list is done. Now you can focus on the food and the cake.

    mmm cake.

  4. notsojenny - It is, for me, it really is. But I'm trying to not make it such a fucking big deal and be horrendous about it, and make people hate me, you know? Because those girls on those shows are not anyone I want to know.

    Dag - It is true. I want people to be happy and to like it and I want people who are invited to all get invitations. And yes, the ones I hold dear are truly lovely. Thanks for saying that. :)

    Slightly Disorganized - Do you know how much I love you for saying "barf"???? And thanks for the cake reminder. Mmmm cake.

  5. Oh, no, sorry to hear about the stress! I'm with you, I'd send an invite to Mom and Maude. The invites are so pretty!

  6. I understand completely. Two days before the Australia wedding, Jason presented me with the seating arrangements for dinner, and I had a complete fit because I decided that the groupings his mother had come up with were stupid and nonsensical. So I stayed up until 4 in the morning redoing all of it, while he cowered in the corner.

  7. HKW - Thankfully, barring any further surprises, everyone will get one! Yay!

    Wendy - Oh, man. I am glad we're not doing table seatings. I can't even imagine the stress of that.

  8. When I got married [warning taking advice from a divorced man] I knew the reception was just a party, and the ceremony just an event. I knew, like you know, that it is the days, and many years to follow that matter. Parents and In-laws, however, don't have such understanding. This is the only moment they have to watch their little girl/boy get married.

    Was this still an blatant act of asshattery - sure. But take a deep breath, enjoy your long weekend and maybe take the same approach as lemmonex.

  9. This is EXACTLY the type of situation that would make me all lose-my-shit-ey too. Exactly.


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