tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post5387618790843816885..comments2024-03-15T14:47:21.170-04:00Comments on Lemon Gloria: The suicide ebb tideLemon Gloriahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-40344715941981026212012-07-27T21:14:30.449-04:002012-07-27T21:14:30.449-04:00When I am feeling so low, so low I don't think...When I am feeling so low, so low I don't think I can carry on, I am inspired by the words of those who have been left behind, who have tried and failed, who have tried and failed repeatedly, and always, I am thankful for those words. <br />Thank you. <br />And I am so sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-735426876189859032012-07-15T14:17:51.918-04:002012-07-15T14:17:51.918-04:00Oh dear Lisa, I'm so sorry. You write so beau...Oh dear Lisa, I'm so sorry. You write so beautifully about the slow release of the pain caused by your father's suicide... I can understand how you feel kicked in the gut by the revelation about the reservation. You wonder how it can matter, but even in the reflected pain I felt reading your post, I can only say that it matters, it really does. And once again, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.Keenie Beaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07828633917521260061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-32064000863923604152012-07-13T16:05:05.875-04:002012-07-13T16:05:05.875-04:00Oh Lisa. I have nothing but hugs to send your way....Oh Lisa. I have nothing but hugs to send your way.Gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17430540263901865519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-53181109620417212402012-07-13T15:49:05.201-04:002012-07-13T15:49:05.201-04:00Big hugs flying to you Lisa. I'm so forever s...Big hugs flying to you Lisa. I'm so forever sorry he couldn't stay.<br /><br />You are strong. But if you did feel like just sitting down and sobbing, that would be okay too. <br /><br />Usually these days, when I am feeling sad and it shows, and my children ask what's wrong, I say "I'm just tired," either because I don't want to tell them why I'm crying, or, more often, because I do not know why I'm crying. But I feel like I should be more honest with them. I think I might be inadvertently teaching them that when they are feeling sad, they are just tired, instead of helping them to understand why they are sad or upset. All part of trying to figure out how to not dismiss my emotions and theirs too. I had no idea this part of parenting would be so complicated, and so challenging. <br /><br />How did I get off on that tangent? <br /><br />More hugs.ljhlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16356888171983629688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-408111578430498072012-07-13T13:43:01.557-04:002012-07-13T13:43:01.557-04:00My sentiments exactly, you always describe this wh...My sentiments exactly, you always describe this whole post-suicide grief experience so perfectly. I can totally identify with the pre-planned business--I found a stash of my grandpa's leftover "supplies"; planned or not planned it sucks and isn't fair. <br /><br />Big hugs and lots of warm thoughts to you, lady.Tiffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09503792849837479179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-63149118581718648292012-07-13T10:57:49.135-04:002012-07-13T10:57:49.135-04:00Looking back on Lori's comment I love what she...Looking back on Lori's comment I love what she says. I think for me it was easier to get help as a woman than it is for a man. Maybe that is a direction we should all focus on. Helping men to feel that they can ask and get help without losing their manliness.Hell they can't even ask for directions...we have a long way to go.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05723341189816254118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-52233838555302945972012-07-13T10:43:48.527-04:002012-07-13T10:43:48.527-04:00Love and hugs to you, Lynn. I'm SO glad you go...Love and hugs to you, Lynn. I'm SO glad you got help and so glad you got through it. You are right, and the pain and the weariness sometimes win out...I know in my mind he didn't want to leave us, didn't want to hurt us, didn't want to die. I just have trouble feeling that in my heart sometimes.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-25132753713870632122012-07-13T10:42:07.140-04:002012-07-13T10:42:07.140-04:00Lori, that is such a good thing to focus on. I hop...Lori, that is such a good thing to focus on. I hope the same - that the shame and stigma are banished, and we talk about it openly and offer help and solutions, and, as you said, "kick its ass"! Big hugs to you.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-60664390985141106192012-07-13T10:39:07.856-04:002012-07-13T10:39:07.856-04:00I understand contemplating it, and I understand ge...I understand contemplating it, and I understand getting to a point where it actually seems rational. I do. And intellectually, I understand that at that point, it seems like your loved ones would not only be fine, but maybe even better off. But it's never the case. Everyone who loves you is left shattered, wondering what they could have done, how it could've been different, if they didn't show you they loved you enough to keep you here...Hugs and strength to you, and remember that you are strong and you are loved, and people are willing and happy to help if you reach out.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-90005922106415620722012-07-13T10:35:53.796-04:002012-07-13T10:35:53.796-04:00Oh, Heather, I would say the same about your heart...Oh, Heather, I would say the same about your heart. Thank you, my friend.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-3170125888604071652012-07-13T10:35:29.382-04:002012-07-13T10:35:29.382-04:00It's true - time is a great healer, and they d...It's true - time is a great healer, and they do get smaller and smaller. Hugs to you.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-63502356614200691022012-07-13T10:34:54.704-04:002012-07-13T10:34:54.704-04:00Thank you. It sucks, it just does.Thank you. It sucks, it just does.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-82791316921140747332012-07-13T10:34:34.162-04:002012-07-13T10:34:34.162-04:00Thank you, Sadie. I appreciate it.Thank you, Sadie. I appreciate it.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-24593625831607654832012-07-13T10:34:12.159-04:002012-07-13T10:34:12.159-04:00Oh, Rachel. Thank you.Oh, Rachel. Thank you.Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-10382351731968760252012-07-13T08:48:08.339-04:002012-07-13T08:48:08.339-04:00I used to think you couldn't love your childre...I used to think you couldn't love your children and commit suicide. Until last year when I wanted to die. I'd plan what and when and where. And my children came to mind. But I hated me and my life as much as I loved them which was a LOT. But the pain I was in was so overwhelmingly bad and hard. And the effort to look and act like I wasn't in pain wore me out. And that weariness sometimes wins out. I read something once that said "People who commit suicide don't want to die, they just want the pain to stop" Unfortunately it doesn't stop, it just moves on to your loved ones. I commend you for working through that pain that your dad left behind. Love and Hugs.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05723341189816254118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-44536186142223343782012-07-12T22:48:09.431-04:002012-07-12T22:48:09.431-04:00Lisa :( I am so sorry. Mental illness just sucks.....Lisa :( I am so sorry. Mental illness just sucks...for the family, for the person who is ill....I pray that our children's generation does not whisper about depression and anxiety...but that they kick its ass.LoriBouzanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11605587927648403131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-46598917521653214652012-07-12T16:58:27.058-04:002012-07-12T16:58:27.058-04:00Lisa thank you so much for sharing this. As someon...Lisa thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who has contemplated and been on the ledge for more than half my life, hearing how suicide loss affects those left behind makes me step back and vastly reconsider what the eff I am doing. <br />I am so sorry that he had made plans. I am so sorry that the waves keep coming in. Just keep remembering how strong and how loved you are. Everything else will take care of itself. <br />{{hugs}}K-Teehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03814484208738146397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-66165142068602384192012-07-12T16:21:50.820-04:002012-07-12T16:21:50.820-04:00It's not ridiculous. I wish for you continued...It's not ridiculous. I wish for you continued strength and the warmth of good memories. Your heart is bigger than anyone I know.HKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13589169900225379964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-71484598106492635782012-07-12T16:19:03.464-04:002012-07-12T16:19:03.464-04:00I'm sorry...it is unimaginable. Time heals - ...I'm sorry...it is unimaginable. Time heals - a little at a time. Maybe those waves will continue to get smaller. I hope so. love to you and your mama.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17878620474790055856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-19292285028300583722012-07-12T16:11:17.301-04:002012-07-12T16:11:17.301-04:00ugh, i'm so sorry. i'm just so sorry. i ca...ugh, i'm so sorry. i'm just so sorry. i can't even imaginejenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05726987124886861999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-62711515644274673512012-07-12T15:25:58.712-04:002012-07-12T15:25:58.712-04:00I do not know what to say other than I'm sorry...I do not know what to say other than I'm sorry. And that this is beautifully written.Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05970457532005085242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-23787293422033060762012-07-12T15:10:53.078-04:002012-07-12T15:10:53.078-04:00Thanks, Jess. Hugs to you (in person, soon!).Thanks, Jess. Hugs to you (in person, soon!).Lemon Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-37069244745034354622012-07-12T15:10:35.039-04:002012-07-12T15:10:35.039-04:00This makes my heart break for you again.
-Rachel i...This makes my heart break for you again.<br />-Rachel in ChicagoRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03207601331458436515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-32942552894926417092012-07-12T14:47:25.991-04:002012-07-12T14:47:25.991-04:00{{hugs}}
Also, more hugs.{{hugs}}<br /><br />Also, more hugs.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11838430978051872591noreply@blogger.com