I could so be dangerous

I said goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008 at Tryst with some of my nearest and dearest.

It was a very fun party, and I totally behaved myself. The worst of it was that I drank too much beer, which is minor in the scheme of things. I didn't say or do anything stupid. I didn't kiss any random strangers. I didn't get arrested for indecent exposure, or anything else, for that matter.

It made me feel all grown up and responsible to enjoy myself and then hit a point where it was time to go. Fun, but enough.

So mature, right?

I then cringed into the sunshine of a new year streaming in my window around 11 on New Year's day. It turns out that even if you decide that your best strategy is to stick to beer, and that is what you do, pouring a variety of them over a dinner of tasty, hasty hors d'oeuvres does a wee hangover make.

So I awoke, and shuffled into the bathroom to take a shower, and nearly screamed when I caught my reflection in the mirror.

Because when offered a fun, sparkly, temporary tattoo? The kind that I have put on many a person at previous New Year's parties? The kind that women are always like, "Here! Put a butterfly on my boob!" That kind?

When offered, it turns out that I will choose an entire page of fighting scorpions. And have them applied as high and low as decently possible. One was even swirling into my belly button.

Consequently, my tummy looks like a breeding ground for angry, swarming scorpions. Holding roses in their lethal claws. Which are maybe called pincers? now that I think about it? Ooh, grr! Or whatever sound scorpions make. Also, they might be covered in glitter. But the angry, dangerous kind. Can you tell there's a theme?

These tattoos come off with rubbing alcohol or an immense amount of scrubbing. I've done neither, as I quite like them. They make me feel secretly tough. In a sparkly princessy glittery but you never know I might actually be in a gang on weekends-y kind of way.

They totally give me an attitude. You know, like if someone were trying to borrow my stapler without asking, I'd be all, "Don't take that stapler without asking, bitch!" Or something like that.

I sound so tough, no? I'm trying it on for size. They'll be gone tomorrow. I have to revel in it while I can.

Happy 2008, everyone! Sparkly scorpions, roses, and massive attitude to all!