tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post5677237429010941194..comments2024-03-15T14:47:21.170-04:00Comments on Lemon Gloria: The truth isLemon Gloriahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07280085058516960260noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-27842420185288658082009-06-17T13:03:54.623-04:002009-06-17T13:03:54.623-04:00I've tried to just ask you how the pregnancy i...I've tried to just ask you how the pregnancy is going, because otherwise, there's nothing you can say that won't either drag you into a conversation I'm sure you don't want to have, or that won't be a ridiculous over-simplification of what you're feeling. Which I can't even imagine. xoxoWendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14574959237959082661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-15239377718910620932009-06-16T12:12:26.858-04:002009-06-16T12:12:26.858-04:00Just say "fine", sweetie. They just have...Just say "fine", sweetie. They just have to ask something to show their concern even if it does seem stupid and insipid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-39280357633831799212009-06-16T01:14:01.199-04:002009-06-16T01:14:01.199-04:00To add- I think the worst times when people would ...To add- I think the worst times when people would ask is when we were having a "fun" conversation, high energy, a nice break from whatever grief I was going through, and then they would ask "how are you doing" and I'd just automatically become upset (pavlovs dog at some points- how are you? automatic tears). <br />I won't say it gets better, I miss her and each day lengthens the time I've been away from her. Which is- ya know-SAD.<br />I haven't commented about this much because my mom passed on in January from breast cancer at 60, when my daughter was 2 months. It's just too much when it all happens at once. Looking forward, looking back. I think about what you're going through allot, and I guess the only thing/advice I have is that this shit's doable. Horrible too. Hugs to you and Betty.marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-42348683494736065972009-06-16T01:14:00.646-04:002009-06-16T01:14:00.646-04:00To add- I think the worst times when people would ...To add- I think the worst times when people would ask is when we were having a "fun" conversation, high energy, a nice break from whatever grief I was going through, and then they would ask "how are you doing" and I'd just automatically become upset (pavlovs dog at some points- how are you? automatic tears). <br />I won't say it gets better, I miss her and each day lengthens the time I've been away from her. Which is- ya know-SAD.<br />I haven't commented about this much because my mom passed on in January from breast cancer at 60, when my daughter was 2 months. It's just too much when it all happens at once. Looking forward, looking back. I think about what you're going through allot, and I guess the only thing/advice I have is that this shit's doable. Horrible too. Hugs to you and Betty.marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-20155223355130419382009-06-15T23:50:03.000-04:002009-06-15T23:50:03.000-04:00I really can't imagine. And I'm not sure I...I really can't imagine. And I'm not sure I know what to say. But I really care about you and need you to know that there are so many of us thinking of you each and every day.nicole antoinettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01867096106743131289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-72041383502968473622009-06-15T22:29:54.266-04:002009-06-15T22:29:54.266-04:00I wrote this big long blurb about me and my parent...I wrote this big long blurb about me and my parents but this isnt about me Lisa its about you so I deleted it.<br />It hurts, it sucks, its stinks, its raw, anger, pain, anguish, all rolled into one big sushi roll and its ok its allowed, and sometimes when someone asks you, just look into their eyes and give a little smile and turn away, they will understand if you dont want to say anything out loud.Go-Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12746808309929560250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-24667743498629589132009-06-15T21:28:49.794-04:002009-06-15T21:28:49.794-04:00I think you just said it. And it was good for me t...I think you just said it. And it was good for me to read. I'm probably not as aware of what is missing for MathMan who lost both parents before he was 30, as I should be. This was a good reminder.lisahgoldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158660223296807317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-4544860541534667512009-06-15T17:41:02.288-04:002009-06-15T17:41:02.288-04:00Once again I don't know what to say. But I ca...Once again I don't know what to say. But I care, so I wanted to put that out there. :)mysterygirl!https://www.blogger.com/profile/01708758561975520042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-40945924460720700182009-06-15T16:17:21.126-04:002009-06-15T16:17:21.126-04:00if at all possible, try to avoid the people you do...if at all possible, try to avoid the people you don't want to talk about this with. if you do get asked how you're doing by someone you don't feel like opening up to, might i suggest a phrase i use regularly: "good enough for government work." because darlin', you are *not* fine yet, and that's part of the reason you want to cry when you say it . . .LJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11863772247445220124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-81732450488488740862009-06-15T15:53:47.977-04:002009-06-15T15:53:47.977-04:00something that hurts so deeply can't be easy t...something that hurts so deeply can't be easy to explain, and honestly, that's OK. <br /><br />Eventually it will hurt less. You'll find happy again. You'll always miss him, I'm sure. But you get to remember that spectacular person he was and the love he shared. <br /><br />It will get easier. It won't be long before you will mean it when you say "I'm fine."Miss Dallashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16831133768123027451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-70145781753615955932009-06-15T15:23:31.149-04:002009-06-15T15:23:31.149-04:00You are handling it about a thousand times better ...You are handling it about a thousand times better than I can fathom ANYONE doing.<br /><br />Just saying. xorachaelgkinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18002691394373545956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-11894358106180169912009-06-15T15:15:12.723-04:002009-06-15T15:15:12.723-04:00I agree with all the comments - great comments - a...I agree with all the comments - great comments - and would only add there is no timetable and a big hug to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-60102083221029468532009-06-15T14:55:42.256-04:002009-06-15T14:55:42.256-04:00Lately my favorite has been a (fairly) cheery &quo...Lately my favorite has been a (fairly) cheery "upright and mobile!" Cause some days that's all I got.ekcnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-48775062207757418142009-06-15T14:43:03.062-04:002009-06-15T14:43:03.062-04:00When my mom died I figure I taught more than a few...When my mom died I figure I taught more than a few people NOT to ask "how are you" when I'd start crying right then.marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-54930276461129084232009-06-15T14:36:20.632-04:002009-06-15T14:36:20.632-04:00Your words make me feel so many things. You are l...Your words make me feel so many things. You are lucky to have so many memories of your father. I wish I had memories of my own. Maybe it's not so bad to feel the pain, to remember, from time to time. Maybe it would be worse to feel empty. I'm not sure.<br /><br />In any event, I hope that writing about it helps somewhat.Fearless in Torontohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00426846673587494969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-82140595411911252102009-06-15T14:06:05.800-04:002009-06-15T14:06:05.800-04:00Anything profound I would have said has been out-p...Anything profound I would have said has been out-profounded by previous comments. So I will just send more hugs (because you can never have too many of those, right?).Brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03833043354481429783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-28744992177563434782009-06-15T13:34:20.461-04:002009-06-15T13:34:20.461-04:00Oh, I feel your pain. I lost my mother 13 years a...Oh, I feel your pain. I lost my mother 13 years ago, and I still think about the time between the last time I saw her and when she died. And I feel guilty for not realizing she was so close to death and being home in San Diego while she was in Seattle.<br /><br />But I also think of her and cry good tears when good things happen in my life. I see them as a tribute to her. "See, mom, you done good" sort of thing.<br /><br />I don't imagine I'll ever be over her death. But its become a part of me, and it will become a part of you as well.<br /><br />In the meantime, just keep saying "fine". We all understand.Al In The Countyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15125356518107742922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-80692315582727818082009-06-15T13:02:55.418-04:002009-06-15T13:02:55.418-04:00I've been feeling your pain for the past 15 ye...I've been feeling your pain for the past 15 years. It *does* hurt less and less as time goes by, but there are days, like today for example, the sky is a perfect blue, the smell of freshly mown grass in the air, the sun shining down all happy-like and I think, "Wow, Dad would have LOVED today! He would be sitting on the front porch, a ball game on the radio, reading his newspaper...." Then I lose it and get all teary-eyed. <br />You will always miss him. <br />No, you *didn't* get enough time with him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-39316723524531904042009-06-15T12:59:15.368-04:002009-06-15T12:59:15.368-04:00You know, I stopped talking to friends after my fa...You know, I stopped talking to friends after my father died -- close, close friends - my best friend, even -- just because I couldn't deal with responding to the well-being inquiries. The slightest mention of the situation would reduce me to tears and bring about the chest pains. Avoiding the question itself seemed to be the best way of avoiding the pain and tears but, as I'm sure you know, you are going to feel it one way or another, either now or later. <br /><br />If it makes you feel better to have an honest vent to the people who care about you, do it. If you want to grieve in private, do it. There's no wrong answer to the "how are you" question.freckledkhttp://freckledk.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-90434936965980712302009-06-15T12:12:42.674-04:002009-06-15T12:12:42.674-04:00i know i should just copy and paste my previous co...i know i should just copy and paste my previous comments by now but there's really nothing you or anyone else can do to make it hurt less. it just takes time. it's different for everyone (obviously) but for me it was a solid year before i stopped crying almost every single day. it never gets easier/better, just easier to live with. there are still days when i'll be driving down the road and just burst into uncontrolable tears... it just happens. <br />i'm not a person who talks about these things with the not close-close people either... i totally get it.<br />keep on keepin' on... you've got so much going on right now and it's about to get even crazier... in a great way of course! that little man...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-89580175623363149602009-06-15T12:08:03.845-04:002009-06-15T12:08:03.845-04:00I think you should listen to those friends. And I...I think you should listen to those friends. And I think it's important to remember that the people who are asking? Aren't expecting to hear that you're fine.<br /><br />And, if/when you're in a place where a little levity is welcome, I direct you to <a href="http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/p/pretty-woman-script-transcript-julia.html" rel="nofollow">this</a>, and ask you to search for the phrase "left the match" on the page.<br /><br />Hugs.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11838430978051872591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-85078529399374230342009-06-15T11:58:21.747-04:002009-06-15T11:58:21.747-04:00My father died 20 years ago and I'm still not ...My father died 20 years ago and I'm still not over it. Pain diminishes and happy memories surpass the sad ones. However, it's always there. Take care of yourself and give yourself permission to feel "crappy."Stacy Kraus McDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08975331975501844839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2117136912052729666.post-91930675093812154702009-06-15T11:52:19.346-04:002009-06-15T11:52:19.346-04:00I think you're handling it all as well as poss...I think you're handling it all as well as possible. I really do. <br /><br />When you lose a parent (in any way), your whole universe changes. All your life, they've been there. Now, they're not. It sucks. <br /><br />Maybe it's sufficient to say to kind people "You're so sweet to inquire" and leave it at that.lacochranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12122022168616822147noreply@blogger.com