Tuesday night I got to Nick's office and he handed me a letter from England. It was from a friend who had come across some old photos and thought he might like them.
There were several of Nick. In one, he had on this form-fitting, sleeveless, spandex outfit. Which turned out to be a rowing uniform.
Apparently that they have to be tight tight tight and all one piece so that you don't have any extra fabric on which to catch your fingers or oar while you're racing.
Before I could make fun of the spandex, I was all, "You were so hot! You never told me you were so hot! And can you look like this again?"
This was, you see, about a decade and a number of pounds ago. It's not that he's not cute now, and it's not that I don't love him in his entirety. But, goodness.
So ten years ago, Nick packed up his life in Alabama and moved to England for a year. Officially it was to start a PhD program, but I frankly think that he really needed a radical life change and some distance from everything.
After a year he moved to DC and spent better part of the decade just waiting to meet me. Or something like that.
So the England.
While he was there he rowed, and he absolutely loved it. He formed incredibly strong friendships - friendships that last to this day. A number of his groomsmen flew from Europe for the weekend to be in our wedding.
But back to the picture. Or rather, the rowing uniform.
So as I was exclaiming about his hotness, and all fascinated by the outfit, he said, "You know, I still have it."
"Have what?"
"The uniform. I could put it on when we get home and fulfill your fantasy."
"Which fantasy would that be?"
"The one that involves the overweight middle-aged man in a unitard."
I love him so.
Now all he has to do is get you a WWE DVD for Valentine's Day, and you have yourselves the perfect (nearly, if it weren't known to your devoted readers) inside joke.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to have the absolute perfect sense of humor for you, really.
...and so do I. He's a keeper, Lisa!
ReplyDeleteSo...? Where's the picture? ;-)
ReplyDeleteSomeone made a comment this weekend about a picture of me way back when I was in the Marines: "Great picture of you when you were skinny." Yeah, thanks. I do still have my Dress Blues, but they're not nearly as stretchy as a spandex unitard. No fitting into them for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, where's the picture. Also, if Nick puts the 'tard on again, pictures are a necessity.
let me know when you're ready for a sister wife : )
ReplyDeleteso, uh, did he do it? did he wear the unitard for you?
ReplyDelete"The one that involves the overweight middle-aged man in a unitard."
ReplyDeleteThe stuff of dreams.
As if you didn't already know, I'd like to inform you that he's a keeper!
ReplyDeleteForgot to ask if you'd take pictures if he actually attempts to don said unitard...
ReplyDeletehaha! absolutely a keeper! my guy was in the navy and he asks occasionally if i want him to put on his little sailor suit...hehe, too funny!
ReplyDeleteJessica - Hahahaha! Somehow the wrestling never occurred to me! He does, I really think he does.
ReplyDeleteFreckledK - Yes! Thanks! :)
Susan - Nooooooooooooo.
FoggyDew - Oh, Dress Blues are beautiful! And hot! They ought to add some spandex for kindness with age and pounds, really. And no, nope, no on the pictures. Just, no.
notsojenny - :) We have gotten very into Big Love and I have realized once and for all that there is no way on this green earth that I could share.
Hillary - Ah, no.
Maiden Metallurgist - Exactly. Not one that had ever occurred to me, but someone's dream.
Jo - He is pretty fantastic. And no, really no. Nonoono.
lucklys - Oh, I would! I kind of love military uniforms.
Ha, you could post "before" and "after" shots.
ReplyDeleteYou and Nick are adorable and hilarious! Thanks for the funny on Friday :)
ReplyDeleteNicole - Ha, no. No, no, and more no.
ReplyDeleteHKW - Thanks, sweetie!
He may not still fit the unitard, but if he did, he might not have been able to wear the gold dinner jacket.
ReplyDeleteum, i want to see it.
ReplyDeleteRestaurant Refugee - Yah, life is full of trade-offs.
ReplyDeleteSlightly Disorganized - I am just realizing how not-pleased Nick is likely to be with this post.
Okay, definitely, but I think you need to add the stipulation that he has to stand outside your window with a boombox and do John Cusack a la "Say Anything", while wearing it. And you get to video tape it. And vlog it.
ReplyDeleteAWESOME.
Wait! You're in DC, aren't you? He can join a sculling team or whatever they call the rowing crews I see zipping on the water near Georgetown. He can grow hotter and younger-looking like Benjamin Button!
ReplyDeleteI scrolled down slowly, hoping...but alas, no picture.
ReplyDeleteBut it's Friday, so I'm not gonna cry about it. Too much.
You could not have picked a better father for your child.
ReplyDeleteIsn't he a peach for having waited that decade to find you? I'm so glad he did.
ReplyDeleteThis is funny. People always think they can still "do it" even years after, such as fitting into the rowing outfit (which he probably can't). Ask him to run the polo grounds (ala rowing practice) and see how far he gets.
ReplyDeleteLiLu - That would be hilarious. Truly hilarious. Maybe when it's warmer.
ReplyDeletelacochran - Hmmm. I suppose he could. I like the idea of Benjamin Buttoning him, but not so much of him leaving at 5 am or whatever dreadful, cold, grim hour they get out there in the morning.
saratogajean - It just seemed a little too exposing. I do have a couple boundaries.
Lemmonex - I know. There's no way the kid is going to be normal.
Lisa - Meeee, too! :)
Anonymous - He just donned it for me. It's not his best look, but it fits - spandex being an amazing product.
Sean put on his fencing uniform for me a couple of months after we started dating. He looked like a stuffed white sausage but incredibly cute ;-)
ReplyDelete