Thursday, March 22, 2007

My Erection Skirt

Hi! I know that some of you are wondering what the eff happened to the hypnotism post and here's the thing. Although it only felt like we were up on stage for 20 minutes last night, we didn't get out of the show till 11:30. And so I got to bed late and woke up late and have been a little discombobulated today.

Plus it is going to take a little time to process and to write. Which I will do this evening.

But I just ran out for a minute over lunch and Oh My God is it gorgeous outside! I'd forgotten that it can be so deliciously warm and lovely in DC!

Taking advantage of spring, I'm wearing this cute brown A-line corduroy skirt from the Gap and a fitted denim blazer. And no tights! I'd forgotten how nice it is to have sunshine on my knees!

And I've got on the most charming boots ever. I got them in Spain and I love them so much. They're beige suede with pink leather flowers and embroidered bugs on the side! They're fairly flat but still very cute. Which, it occurs to me, is a way in which I hope I am never described.

The weather is making me ramble. Anyway, I was bouncing along, listening to Lily Allen, feeling super cute, smiling at men in suits who walked by and who were smiling at me.

I'm happy! It's spring! Spring makes me feel cute! And is that my reflection in that store window?

It is. And wait. Hang on. Does it look like I have an erection?

It turns out this cute corduroy skirt pokes out in the front when I walk. And in fact, makes me look like I have an erection.

And being me, after realizing that, what was the first thing I thought? Not, "So embarrassing! It looks like I not only have a penis but an erection!"

No. The first thing was, "Well, really. It looks so little! Because if I did have an erection, it would be much bigger than that."

The Hell?

15 comments:

  1. Well as you've said it's not exactly cold out, so there goes that excuse.

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  2. Ha ha! You're right. No excuses.

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  3. It's so nice to know you're proud of body parts you don't even have! :)

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  4. This post reminded me of the GAP ad with Sarah Jessica Parker (I'm a GIRL!)....right up until the end.

    Very funny!

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  5. If you truly had fashion sense you'd pair that outfit with some neuticles...

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  6. G&D - Ha ha! Yes!

    HKW - Thank you! That's right - SJP and the Gap.

    Anon - Oh, you are so right. Where are my neuticles when I need them? And you know I'd want really big ones.

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  7. Another laugh out loud post! I can't wait to hear about last night. Any clowns?

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  8. No, no clowns! I still feel sorry for your brother and his hypnosis experience.

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  9. Requesting permission to address you as "Boner" from here on out.

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  10. Oh, please, pleeeeaaase no! I'm going to be mortified if I meet you and the other DC bloggers for the first time next week and you call me that. I've always wanted a nickname, but could you pick a significantly more charming one, whether accurate or not?

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  11. But I mean it in the most endearing way possible.

    Take solace in the fact that I decided against requesting permission to address you as Hard-on from here on out.

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  12. In honor of your comment yesterday, I'd like to be the first to officially state that you are fairly flat but still very cute. No need to thank me.

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  13. I-66 - and LMNt - Um. I don't know what to say.

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  14. Well, well, well, my fairly flat but still very cute friend - you are not the first person to have those thoughts cross your mind. Just a few springs ago I caught sight of myself in a storefront reflection and thought the same thing, "My erection looks small, but DAMN I look cute in this skirt!"

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  15. 2x4 - That totally made me giggle!

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