Monday, July 30, 2012

Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?


When I was in the Peace Corps, trainers would regularly bring up the "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach him to fish..."

This popped into my mind at 3:30 am, when my little dollop of delight was up for the SEVEN MILLIONTH time. And every time she wakes up, no matter the reason, she needs boob, stat.

So as I lay there, listening to her start to squawk, willing her with all my might to settle herself, I was thinking: Give a baby a roll and she'll eat for a day, but teach her to roll and you will NEVER GET ANY SLEEP AGAIN.

You see, our India has learned how to roll over onto her stomach. But she cannot get back.

I didn't actually teach her. I just encouraged her.

And now I am all, why for the love of Peter, Paul and Mary - and maybe Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, and even the Eagles and America (both of whom Nick hates. Seriously. How can you hate the Eagles? America? Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn't, didn't already have! But I digress.) - why oh why did I encourage her?

Really, why was I enticing her with toys, cheering her on, all "Yes, sweetie! You can do it!" Why???

Instead, I should've been busy sewing giant pieces of Velcro to the back of her pajamas and onto her sheets.

She can roll both to the right and to the left. She really has to work at it, but she can do it.

You see her turn her head and fix on something to her side. She gears up all, "I want to go to there!" And she throws her arms and legs up and flings them sideways and then she grunts and struggles and wiggles and squiggles and finally, finally flips herself over.

At which point she is all, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS I'M LOOKING FOR!"

15 comments:

  1. Oh wow, look at baby girl India go! I hope you get some sweet slumber soon, Lisa.

    "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper" is one of my favorite LG post titles ever.

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    1. Thanks, Heather! I was talking to a friend about Star Wars and she said she'd lend me the first three films so I can have a marathon and I am SO EXCITED!

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  2. Ditto to the awesome title! I love her grunting after she rolls over, like she's trying to get back again, but can't figure out how!

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    1. Thank you! That grunting then gives way to mewing and then if left to her own devices serious consternation and wailing.

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  3. I was awoken for a million times last by our 3 week old last night, so I laughed out loud as I read this. Bryan asked what was so funny, so I read it out loud to him and he laughed mightily too. So we may be grumps with no sleep, but at least you made us laugh today :) Boy this parenting thing is HARD!

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    1. That should say last NIGHT. I'm too tired to even type!

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    2. Three weeks is so young and so difficult! The fact that you can laugh right now is awesome and a clear indication that you're doing really well. It is HARD. Big hugs to you!

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  4. Yep teach them to walk and talk then spend the next 25 years wishing they would sit down and shut t/f up! I had my grand-daughter all to myself for three days. I spoiled her and sent her home. This part is fun. And I LOVE the Velcro idea. You should patent that!

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    1. Oh, I know you just gobbled up the time with her! That's so wonderful! I had the best relationship with my maternal grandmother. It's incredibly special.

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  5. Video! YAY! She is beautiful. And this post is full of things that made me laugh. Also, like Lynn, I'm thinking maybe it's not too late for the velcro jammies.

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  6. aaaaawwwwwww.....she is soooo absolutely adorable.

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  7. Oh my goodness! Hilarious. I don't know how you can be so funny with the life being drained from you through your boobs.

    That India is precious.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. It's laugh or cry half the time, you know?

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