Conversations with a 3-year old

Walking Through a Busy Gym

"Mama! What are these people doing?"

"They're exercising."

"Oh."

Points to a man on a treadmill: "Oh, Mama. He's trying to run but it's not working."

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Preparing for a Dinner Guest

"Come here, nakey-boy. We need to put on clothes." 

"I don't want to put on clothes."

"But we have a new friend coming over."

"I don't want clothes. I like to be naked."

"We need to have clothes on for the first time we meet someone. Remember how we don't answer the door all nakey? We don't meet people naked."

"We need wear clothes when we meet someone?"

"Yes."

N.B.: Jordan kept his clothes on for about the first 10 minutes of the visit, after which he stripped to a T-shirt. After brief negotiation, he agreed to put his undies back on as well. 

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Aaaaand the Answer Is Always Yes

"Mommy"

"Yes, love?"

"When I put my finger in my bottom."

"When you put your finger in your bottom what?"

"When I put my finger in my bottom? It gets tiny little pieces of poop on it that I can't see?"

"Yes, honey, it does."

"And then I have to wash my hands?"

"You sure do."

"Can I wash my hands?"