Thursday, April 17, 2014

India, that's not for playing with!

We have this rule at our house that you cannot take off your underwear until you get inside the front door.

Now, this would apply to all of us, but really, the rule is only necessary for the under-four-foot set. Because typically, Jordan just can't wait to get his pants off. They're sandy. They're wet. They're green.

And then, then it's a short leap to the removal of underwear.

Now India likes to do this as well. And since she's starting to use the potty, which we want to encourage, there is a lot of running around half-nakey.  The other day I walked into the kitchen and Jordan was wearing nothing but one sock.

They have a bath just about every night, partly to get clean, but also because they have such a good time playing together. I'm not sure at what age the joint baths stop.

And I don't know about you, but we've called his penis a penis ever since the beginning. I remember visiting Maude's family in Tunisia when I was about eight or nine (I think). This is also the trip where their maid tried to force Maude and me into smoking a cigarette. 

Anyway, the important point for this story is that their mom said something to my mom about Adam hitting his tallywhacker on a doornob.

I remember this for two reasons: one, I was fascinated by the word tallywhacker. And two, how on earth did he manage to hit it on a doornob? At a year younger than us, there's no way Adam's tallywhacker was anywhere near the doornob. Did he leap off the bed and hit it on the way down? Was he standing on a chair right by the door?

I never asked, and I still wonder. Not that I spend my time thinking about Maude's brother's penis, but well, actually, I guess I do.

Anyway, in the bath my kids play with bubbles and boats, and cars, and princesses. They scoop water. They brush teeth (sort of). Sometimes Jordan will lay back in the tub to get his own hair wet, rather than me washing it.

So the other night India looked over at Jordan's reclined body, noticed his penis, and gave it a yank.

I could see why. It was just right there. I doubt they still have cigarette vending machines, but I remember seeing the nobs and pulling on them out of curiosity. It was kind of like that. Hey, there's something sticking out. Pull!

Jordan was surprised and outraged, as one might be. He sat up right quick. "INDIA! That's my penis! It's not for playing with!"

(Oh, my sweet boy, are you in for a surprise.)


  1. He is in for a surprise when it comes to other people in his life when he's older, but since this was his SISTER, I think the "it's not for playing with" rule is always in effect! :)

    1. Yes, yes, you are right on that one! But as for other girls, not to mention himself, oh, does he have a lot of life ahead of him!

  2. So funny! So true. And yeah that doorknob scene boggles the mind. Have a wonderful Easter weekend to you and Nick and your sweet babies.

    1. To be fair, it is SO long ago, and maybe I even heard it wrong in the first place?!?! I should ask Maude, you know? Big hugs to you and yours, Lynn!

  3. That's sooooo funny and cute!! I too am not wondering about the tallywhacker (???) and the doornob!


Tell me about it.