Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Five lessons I have (inexplicably) learned more than once

  1. It will always hurt if you clip a binder clip to your nose. Or anywhere on your face. Or really any part of your body. Always and very badly.
  2. Don't stick your finger in the back of your kid's diaper if you suspect poop. Particularly if you're out in public. Without wipes. In fact, don't leave the house with your kid without wipes. No matter where you're sticking your finger.
  3. When you've been swimming, you are wet. And thus, when you sit on one of those paper toilet seat covers, every damn one of those shreds of wet tissue paper are gonna be really hard to scrape off the back of your thighs.
  4. There is no reason to try to eat an entire toothpick skewer of food at once. Even if you're hungry and you know that all the wee skewered bits on it will all taste really good together. You look greedy, but more importantly, it hurts terribly when you stab yourself in the back of the throat.
  5. Trying that "easy eyeshadow trick!" you read about in Glamour five minutes before you have to leave the house is never going to end well. Never. Especially if you aren't someone who wears eyeshadow in the first place.

5 comments:

  1. I love you. You make me laugh. Thank you for being wonderful, splendid you. # 5 reminds me of your posts when you were a single lady

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    1. I love you, Heather! And I have a feeling I did a LOT of that as a single woman, and it all seemed more dire because I was rushing out on one first date or another.

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  2. And I meant to say on your last post. Write the romance first. Then the suicide one after! Right now I'd say do the one that makes your heart sing. Get a bit more perspective (and practice) and try again in a few years. But heck, what would I know - I also have 2 quarter finished books rattling about in my head!)

    I have a good friend who is also trying to write a book about suicide, after several suicide attempts himself. A 'how to survive suicide guide'. He is a brilliant writer and I'd love to read it, but I think he's also put it to one side, I should ask him. xxx

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    1. Thank you, Miranda. I think you are right. It's hard enough to write one, much less one that feels like a chore! I'd be interested in your friends survival guide. That sounds really interesting. Big hugs to you!

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  3. Agh my other comment got eaten. Aaaanyway! xxx

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