Friday, September 26, 2014

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Tomorrow is our sixth wedding anniversary.

In six years of marriage, we have: had two children; lost two parents; sold one condo; bought one house; sold Betty's house; moved Betty in; and lived through four years of construction. Have I left anything major out? Possibly.

I'm not a math person, but this is a lot to fit into six short years.

Also, Nick has grown a beard and although I don't generally favor facial hair, I think he looks like a pirate in a good way. But that actually has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Or maybe it does. I don't know.

What I have really been thinking about, however, is our wedding.

We debated having a wedding or taking the money and putting it towards a house, because even if you are not buying a dress and you find a reasonably-priced (for the DC area) venue, weddings are spendy. So we thought about it pretty hard.

And we are both still so very glad we chose the wedding.

Not just because we wanted to have a ceremony in front of our loved ones. Nor because I loved wearing the dress that my mom and her mother had made for Betty's wedding. Nor because I delighted in my only opportunity to wear a veil. Nor because I have ever felt more beautiful. Nor that having a wedding brought great joy to our parents. Or even because we love cake and we had an amazing one.

Although all of these things are true and I reveled in every moment.

The biggest thing I am grateful for is that we had a joyful event with so many of our loved ones. I've been told that people gather for weddings and funerals, and it is true.

If I have one regret, it is that we did not video the part of the ceremony where the guests were invited to stand and speak as they felt moved to. It was my favorite part. I mean besides the rings and the death do us part, of course.

Many people said amazing, beautiful things. And some funny ones. Jane said, "I take partial credit for this. I told her to marry the man with the boat!"

We had everyone sign a piece of paper after the ceremony, and we were going to have it framed with our vows, which were rather simple. But in the end we got it framed alone, and it is simple and beautiful. I particularly love that if you see it on our wall and don't know what it is, you just think it's art.

I look at our pictures on occasion, and I look at the signatures on the wall every day. Some of them are people we loved deeply who are no longer with us. My dad. Our friend Bill, who became a sham Internet minister to marry us. His wife Gouri. Maude's mom. Nick's dad.

Some of them are people who live far, far away, and traveled great distances to join us. Australia. California. England. France. The Netherlands. Macedonia. Poland. Texas. I may be forgetting a country or state of notable distance.

People we would never, ever willingly let go of. People we would see all the time, if we could. And for one evening, we had them all together in one place. We laughed so hard with them. We danced. We hugged them all tightly. And we will always, always have the beautiful memories.

You may have thought, reading the first line, that this would be an homage to love.

And it is.


  1. I love that your wedding was everything you and your husband wanted it to be and that you carry it with you in your heart. It's not surprising that being surrounded by your family and loved ones was what was most important to you in that moment and years later - because that's totally like you (even though the dress was perfection and tradition and the cake was what you wanted - cake is important to me too!). The photos you've shared are beautiful and the signatures from guests really is art.

    Happy anniversary - I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.

  2. Thank you, Heather! Thank you so much! Big love and hugs to you!

  3. This was so lovely to read, until the end when my throat constricted and my eyes started welling up. Your marriage reminds me so much of mine. I have said this before that I love how you put in to words exactly what I am feeling especially when it comes to marriage and parenthood. Love that! Happy Anniversary to my favorite couple I don't know (but I Do)

    1. Oh, Lynn, big huggy hugs! Thank you for the sweet comment! It's going to be so fun when we finally meet in person.


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