What are you reading?

My title reminded me that I like to call Nick and say, "What are you wearing?" and hope that he doesn't have me on speakerphone, although at this point in our lives I believe he knows better.

Recently Australian Builder was walking up the stairs after our HVAC guy, who was carrying a big roll of bubble wrap, and before I could stop myself I was all, "So, Mike's not planning to wrap you in bubble wrap and do kinky stuff, is he?"

This, before I remembered that I don't actually know Mike, the HVAC guy.

I mean, I do now.

Soo, yah.

Here is the actual story. This weekend my mom and I are flying to Los Angeles. I got the flights late, and so we don't have assigned seats.

Know what that means?

I mean, beyond that fact that we might each be squozen in middle seats? Because of course that's true and unfortunate.

But what it also means is that I will have hours and hours where nobody is asking me to do anything for them. Or anyway, nobody I'm obligated to respond to. I mean, unless I'm in the emergency row, and the plane loses and engine or something.

Which is of course always a possibility and the reason I'll have cake for breakfast at the crack of dawn and then probably a Cinnabon or five at the airport.

But beyond that. No Mama Mama Mama! Nobody fighting. Nobody asking for snacks. Nobody spilling juice on their clothing and their backup clothing and then me having to work to keep their gagina covered for the rest of the flight (and yes, I know it's her vulva).

Here's what it means assuming all goes well.

It means I'll have hour after uninterrupted hour to read! Airport time to read! Plane time! Maybe even evening time in the hotel!

My friend Ingalisa just recommended and then so kindly sent me Birds of America, which, although I am not typically a short story person, sounds right up my alley. But I'd like to have an abundance lined up so that I don't find myself stuck in the middle seat without reading material.

I should tell you that we are going to LA for a memorial service, about which I am terribly sad. And I have of late been reading self-help-ish books, and would like a diversion.

What I mean is, I want no death or tragedy or self-improvement. 

I would ideally like something that is going to suck me out of my seat and straight into the book, much as that may make me sound like Thursday Next (and who doesn't love Jasper Fford?).

Anyway, you are all smart, interesting people. And so I turn to you.

Do you have any suggestions?