So we bought a pack of cigarettes, and Mrs. Wagner's pies...

OK, so the truth is, my North American geography is terrible. I mean truly.

And it never seems to improve.

I don't know what this is about. It's like how I never remember very many presidents.

What grade do you learn the geography of the United States? I am quite sure I was there, and I learned the states, but they just didn't stick, or anyway, not in order.

Did I ever even learn Canada? I don't think so.

In college, in an African politics class, I once had to memorize and label on an exam all the countries in Sub-Saharan Africa, including drawing in the locations of their capitals and major rivers and lakes.

It was the kind of bullshit exercise that pisses you off but I didn't have the wherewithal to ask our angry young Marxist instructor how he thought this might actually help us in the future.

Like does he picture me in an interview for my first job? And I ace it only because they slide me a blank map of the African continent and they are so impressed? Ooh, look at your ability to label a blank map!

I memorized in clusters. I cannot think of any of the following countries without chanting them together: Uganda-Rwanda-Burundi. Rwanda? Ugandarwandaburundi.

So when Maude and I drove from DC to San Diego, which was basically when Maude taught me to drive stick shift or even really drive at all, I learned where Indiana was because suddenly, after Kentucky, there we were!

Anyway. Now I always have my phone and there is Google.

I have lots of childhood friends in Denver, and have been wanting to visit for quite a while. And my dear friend Kristin is going to be visiting Wendy in July. We have no travel plans this summer, and this is the perfect excuse!

So the other night I told Nick that I want to take Betty and the kids to Denver this summer.

We were talking about the expense of it, and I said that I was considering driving (which...I hadn't been...but thought I should offer it up as it would be a lot cheaper...).

"Lisa..." He gave me that don't start with this again look. He had a tone.

And I said, "What? It's not like when I wanted to drive us all to Texas! It's like half as far!"

His face softened. He said, "Come here, please."

He led me by the hand to our globe. And then asked me to move out of the light. Which kind of annoyed me because I was there at his behest.

And then he pointed and said, "This is Washington." He slid his finger across it and said, "And here is Texas." And then he kept going left, waaaaay over towards California.

He said, "Oh! Look! Here's Colorado! Maybe you could stop in Texas on your way there!"

So I was all, "Fine, fine. I get it. I don't know why Colorado is so much further west than I ever think it is. I like to locate it solidly in the Midwest. It just seems very middle of the country shaped."

Nick doesn't see the value in things such as where I like to locate states. And what shape just feels like it should be where.

Yah. So he didn't even realize I was joking when yesterday I sad, "I was thinking about visiting friends. And do you think it would it be too out of the way to stop in Michigan on the way to Denver?"

I was joking! I mean...I was sort of joking.

Right. And Ugandarwandaburundi is all I have to say about that.