About LG

Why Lemon Gloria? It's my porn name.

My real name is Lisa, and I'm a mom to two delightful children, Jordan and India. (Yes, two countries. No, not on purpose.)

I had a peripatetic childhood - moving from India to Bangladesh to Egypt to the US and then back to India for high school. I now happily call DC home.

My husband, Nick, is the Voice of Reason in our house. My mom, Betty, lives with us as well.

We live in an oldoldold row house that we have been renovating since we moved in nearly five years ago. Our contractor, Australian Builder, has basically become family. Seriously. We are planning a family vacation with him.

The bathroom we don't yet have money to renovate, Nick shores up with caulk. We buy a lot of caulk. I cannot say the word "caulk" without giggling.

We have a Jetsons-style elevator. We would like to have a dog but we live in a row house and cannot currently manage one more responsibility first thing in the morning.

I've always wanted to be dark and mysterious, but I smile a lot, laugh out loud, and like to silly walk with my kids down the sidewalk. When they get older, I know it will start to humiliate them, at which point I plan to do it more often.

I started this blog in 2006, heartbroken and single. The first year's posts are full of (mostly) Internet dates and questionable behavior.  There were some hilarious, some brutal, and one very good one - my last first date. In 2008 we got married and pregnant; in 2009 my dad committed suicide, we bought a house, I had a C-section, and we started endless house renovations.

It was a hell of a year, I'll tell you.

People refer to me as perky. Sometimes I am. Sometimes, however, it is very dark in here. Because of my dad, depression and suicide are unfortunately topics that are very close to my heart.

And, you know, if I had a penis, I'd stick it through the shutter slats just to greet the day. Hello!

In other words, you never know what you're going to get.

Thank you for visiting!