Thursday, November 13, 2008

A year ago tonight. Or, my last first date.

A year ago tonight I hurried through the door of the Tabard Inn, flustered because I was a couple minutes late, sweaty from my walk in the sprinkly rain.

You can imagine what I was like rushing in from the cold, slightly discombobulated, cheeks flushed, pulling off my orangey scarf with one hand, the pink wool hat with the other - both with my usual grace. And cursing myself for having left late and being forced to rush.

The bar of the Tabard, if you don't know it, is like an old formal living room. There's a fire and all these low couches. The light are low. Not as in sexy loungey low. More like turn of the century low tech low. The last century.

It's all very charming, if occasionally hard to read a wine list, I assure you.

I was de-scarfing, running fingers through hat hair, and scanning the room when Nick stood up, smiled, and said hello.

He looked all clean and starched and crispy and cute. He had removed his jacket, but still had on his tie. His shirt was monogrammed. I tried to remember if I knew anything about his politics.

I sat down, and my glasses - which I'd started wearing for dates so guys would take me seriously - immediately fogged up. Which Nick immediately pointed out.

I knew right then I could really like him.

What I didn't know was that I'd met someone amazing who would just think I was the best thing ever. Who would be sweet and kind and honest and fair, from the very beginning. Who would actually, honest-to-God love me for me.

Which is precisely why I keep telling people to stick with the dating business, however you're doing it.

Yes, it gets dreadful to go on one date after another after another. And at a certain point you think, fuck, I simply cannot put on one more smile and act like I'm excited to have a drink with someone who will most likely either bore the crap out of me or do something annoying that makes me want to pinch him, hard, before the evening is over.

But honestly, I swear to you, your person is out there. You're not necessarily right for everyone, but you are perfect for someone who will be perfect back for you.

Somewhere during the first drink Nick got up to go to the bathroom. And when he returned, I was eavesdropping on the group next to us. I cannot remember what they were talking about, but at the time it was odd enough that I tipped my head towards them, gave him a quick synopsis, and then we sat in silence for a bit, both leaning their direction.

At that point he asked if I'd like another glass of wine. Or if I'd like to eat something.

And I said that while I would love to say yes to the wine, the problem was that at glass two, I tended to lose my filter.

He nodded his head. "I had an old girlfriend who was constantly interrupting me in the middle of a story to say 'Filter! Filter!' - I know how this is."

And that, my friends, was one year ago tonight.


  1. Thanks for giving the rest of us hope.

    BTW, that is one kick-ass jacket hubby is wearing. Nicely done, sir.

  2. I love the jacket!! Every picture it gets better and better!! I love this blog so much, came across it randomly months ago, being in DC as well, it caught my eye. I have enjoyed following your journey. peace.

  3. You impressed him with steamed glasses and eavesdropping; he impressed you with his good taste in dinner jackets. Obviously you're made for each other.

  4. Unfiltered LG is the best kind, and I'm glad for both of you that he's the sort to appreciate it.

    What a wonderful anniversary. Congratulations to you both.


  5. I like you best unfiltered. Especially when you blog about poo. That had me literally in tears!

  6. Happy anniversary!

    I love Tabard Inn. The bar, the den, the hookers.

  7. What a difference a year can make! Congratulations!!

  8. At least you start off with a filter... some of us aren't so lucky ;-) But there's someone out there who can even love those without...

    Thanks for the heart-warm!

  9. saratogajean - I am so pleased to. My hope level was at absolute zero this time last year. And I passed on your jacket compliment.

    Anonmymous - I love hearing that! Thank you so much!

    Girl With Curious Hair - Truth be told, at the time, I had no idea he had such sparkly taste in dinner jackets. And I loved him anyway. :)

    Jessica - Once again, I absolutely adore you!

    Jo - I am glad to hear that! I'm certain there's more poo to be documented!

    Arjewtino - Thanks! And yes, especially the hookers. And their cheese plate.

    LJ - Thank you! :)

    LiLu - You are the first person to point that out to me, and now I feel a little ahead of the game. I wish I'd had that perspective before! Thanks!

  10. I'm going to blame hormones, but this had me balls-out crying. Damn you and your happy ending!

    Happy Anniversary! Much love to you both (with a wee bit more love to you - you're my favorite, after all).

  11. I'm coming up on my one year soon and it seems like I've accomplished the impossible. Here's to love and all the hard work it took for both of us to get here.. well, with different people, obviously.

  12. Yay, love story! So romantic. The photo is darling and I kept reading "My last 1st dance" instead of "date". I love how the wedding invitations were fuschia and orange, just like the cap and scarf! Happy Anniversary newlyweds

  13. Congratulations. I wish I had something more profound than good wishes to offer you. I hope you drink well this evening, and live and love well for thousands of evenings to come.

  14. This just warmed me. Thank you so much for sharing. It is hard sometimes to remember that there IS someone out there. He may just be waiting there to make fun of your fogged glasses.

    PS--Holy crap I love Tabard for dates. I once had a date order a blueberry stoli and soda once. NEXT!

  15. You so deserve all of this happiness.

  16. It's true you know when you find the one - when you are you and they love you anyway.

    Lisa I'm so glad you found your perfect person

    I never believed the "you'll know" line but truly you do. To anyone still looking - persevere, it's so ..... worth it.

  17. FreckledK - I'm sorry to have made you cry, but your "balls-out" comment really made me giggle. And I'm so glad to be your fave. :)

    JoLee - One year is a big deal! Congratulations!

    HKW - I know! I generally try to make my life an orange and pink extravaganza! And I suppose that's also true - it was my last first dance. :)

    RestaurantRefugee - Thank you again for such good wishes. I promise, this is the last monumental occasion for a long, long time.

    Lemmonex - I am glad. Yes, there absolutely is someone out there just waiting to make fun of you for some good reason. And blueberry stoli and soda. Yes - NEXT!

    Nicole - Thank you, my sweet.

    Rio - So true - they love you anyway. I never believed it either, and in fact, it annoyed the shit out of me when people would say it. As I write this, I wonder if I'm being annoying.

  18. I love "first date" stories that are cute, funny and touching all rolled up into one "we're perfect for each other" package. Congrats to you both for continuing to look and then finding each other.

    *Almost* makes me wish I could go back and do my first date with John over again so we'd have a cute story.

  19. Love Love Love IT!

    I want to hear more

  20. Love Love Love IT!

    I want to hear more

  21. There's hope for me yet... :-)

  22. Congrats to the two of you. And that there are many more years of happiness to come (and I'm still sending hope your way!!)

    Hope you are right, not that there's someone for everyone (I do believe in that), but that eventually we'll find him. Because my biggest fear is not that my perfect someone doesn't exist, but that our paths might never cross.

  23. Sarah - Thank you. I like our story, and I think I appreciate him all the more because of all the work leading up to it.

    Red - Thank you! I'm sure I'll be posting so much more than you ever wanted to know...

    VVK - You are a great guy, and absolutely, no question, there is hope for you!

    Beach Bum - I understand that fear entirely. But they will cross. They just will.

  24. I am new to your blog, found it through a close friend, but I absolutely adore you and your stories!!
    Congratulations on LOVE! I hope to one day find it as well...

  25. It can be difficult to keep on with the online dating when it doesn't work out, over and over...I've known a fair amount of people who have given up. But you make a good case for hanging in. :)

  26. That is such a wonderful memory... =-)

  27. I just started dating after the loss of my fiance three years ago. And whereas it's not always fun or pleasant, I do have the hope of which you speak. Congratulations on hanging in there!

  28. first time over here and what a sweet post to stumble upon for my first one.
    it's nice hearing that all of this dating can actually lead to something this special.


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