So Not Hot

Yesterday I was hanging out with friends over chaipucchinos (a word I cannot say with a straight face) and beer at Tryst, discussing a Halloween party we were going to that evening.

One friend goes every year, and he was talking about the typically fabulous array of conceptual costumes. He'd previously provided us with a link to an interesting post contrasting Halloween costumes at this particular party last year and a party in LA the previous year. In LA, it's all about trendy and hot. DC is about cleverness and political savvy.

There were some very clever costumes last night. I didn't know what most of them were, so unfortunately can't remember them. I do, however, remember them being clever.

An easy one to guess was a Mark Foley with pages stuck to him. One friend of ours wore all white, with a flap on her shirt with with magnets, and money sticking out above. She asked us to guess what she was. We didn't know. She was William Jefferson's freezer. I'd had no idea, and I was distracted by her breasts - not that they were on display, but rather that they somehow detracted from the freezer doornishness of her costume.

Verisimilitude is not the issue. The truth is I am just not the right person for these costumes.

So prior to this party we were discussing our costumes, and our party veteran asked what kind of cleverness we had planned. We said no cleverness, just fun. The three of us were going as the 70's Charlie's Angels. He said, "Ah, you're taking the hot route."

Erin snorted, "Hot? Hardly. We're just out to look 70's and have a good time."

"Wait - you don't think your friends are hot?"

"We're all too goofy to be hot. Please."

"You don't think Lisa's hot?" He wiggles his eyebrows and gestures towards me like a game show host featuring a potential prize.

"Lisa?" She laughs out loud. "Do you know how goofy she is? And anyway, after her food poisoning in Argentina, impossible. Once you have seen your friend simultaneously having violent diarrhea and puking her brains out, you can never, ever think of her as hot."

He takes a moment to process this image. A stunned and horrified silence descends.

"Okaaay, then. Charlie's Angels! Excellent!"