I was walking out of the office for lunch with a coworker. She patted her back pocket to make sure she had her money. I thought it was kind of a funny gesture, so I said, "Yeah, sometimes I have to make sure my ass is still there, too."
We happened to be passing a formerly empty cubicle, which turns out now to house this cute, young, freshly-scrubbed guy. We were halfway past him as I said this, so when I noticed him I still had one hand firmly cupping one of my butt cheeks. He looked alarmed.
We made it to the hallway without laughing, at which point my coworker said, "He's Mormon. I'm afraid I may have already offended him this morning with my profanity."
I am absolutely dying to ask him if he knows Dooce.