You spend months and months just waiting for this little human to come out. You are so excited to see him. You can't wait to get to know him.
Finally! Finally he arrives!
And you wait and wait and hold your breath pray for him to go to sleep.
I decided the other day that I needed to stop doing that, to appreciate him in the here and now, because his here and now changes daily.
This is not to say that I've fully succeeded, that I'm never all, "Just sleep. Please, please, pleeeeeeeaaaaase sleep." Not because he is tired, but because I am.
And then he will happily sleep in your arms. But often, not so much out of them. Which means no sleep for you.
He can fall asleep within a second flat. Me, it takes me a while to relax and drift off. So very often, I will just be edging into the calm blue pool of lovely, misty sleep.
And I'll hear little grunty baby noises.
I'll silently chant, "Don'twakeup! Don'twakeup!"
And there I go, wishing more sleep on him.
Regarding sleep, one of the things we're learning is that he needs to wind down at the end of the day.
This seems funny, being that really, he spends his day eating, pooping, peeing, having his diaper changed, sleeping - although not a lot, crying, flailing his arms and legs in an attempt to get to know them, and looking around.
How wound up can he get?
But the days that he's had visitors, or we've had an outing, or we've been LOOKING! at a lot of stuff! or using! our! limbs! into late in the evening, he gets super agitated. You can see his eyes getting all puffy and tiredy, and you know he's exhausted.
You're sure he's about to drift off.
But instead of letting himself go, suddenly he's all, "I want to nurse! No, I don't! I want to look around! Ha! Kidding! Hungry! No, wait, just feel like punching my arms in the air! Maybe I'll kick kick kick! Mama! I'm hungry!"
And so I'd try to nurse and get punched and kicked, and then I give him a stern talking-to about how to treat his mama.
Like this got me anywhere.
We spent several nights going around and around with this. And finally, we swaddled the shit out of him, shushed and rocked him, and put him down.
He was outraged. For like 30 seconds. And then, sound asleep.