You'd think that after three weeks I might have something important to say.
And honestly, I do have all kinds of things to talk about: leaving my job; struggling as a stay-at-home mom; goodbye happy hour antics; top-to-bottom water damage in our house - wee things like that.
However. You know when you're really stressed you just want to to into your comfort zone?
So let's talk poop. Specifically, how Jordan informed the entire ladies' room in Target about my activities in the bathroom stall.
You see, we were walking through the store drinking our coconut water, discussing the merits of one collapsible storage container over another, when all of a sudden I realized that if I didn't find a toilet right. that. very. minute, things were going to get all kinds of emergency ugly in my pants.
So I stashed our basket at the end of an aisle, ("Mama! Someone will take it!" "Nobody is going to take it!"), grabbed my kid's hand, and started dragging him towards the bathroom.
"Where are we going?"
"I have to find a bathroom!"
"I don't want to go! Someone will take our stuff!"
STARTING TO PANIC, HOPING I HAVE ENOUGH TIME.
"Nobody will take it! Come with me!"
"I don't want to go! I want to stay!"
DRAGGING CHILD, CLENCHING ANAL SPHINCTER, BREAKING INTO COLD SWEAT.
"Come on, honey."
Picture me practically running, Jordan horizontal flying through the store, clinging to the end of my hand.
We arrived at the bathroom and the air hand dryer was blowing like a jet plane taking off and Jordan covered his ears, turning to leave, "It's too loud!"
"It's fine! Get in here with me!"
So there we were, face to face in a stall, me hovering in the air because there weren't paper thingies to put on the seat.
I was so very, very thankful to have made it in time. Dear Lord. Thank goodness. When...
"MAMA! YOU'RE POOPING! YOU ARE POOPING! LOOK! YOU'RE HAVING A POO POO!"
I put my finger to my lips, and very quietly said, "Shhhh."
So he downgraded to a whisper really just a degree below shouting. "YOU'RE STILL POOPING! YOU ARE POOPING!"
It feels good to be back.