Day 4: It's all very random.

Smoothie: Mixed greens, spinach, apples, peaches, mixed berries, flax seed, protein powder

Taste: So-so, better when I added Stevia

Mood: Fine

Smug points: 341

Yesterday I just wanted a cup of tea with milk and sugar. I was all, what's one cup of tea? And it's just a wee bit of dairy and a tiny bit of sugar...

Nobody even has to know.

And then I gave myself a stern talking-to. Because I know myself. It's just like Nancy Reagan said about gateway drugs in the 80s - today it's a little cup of tea and before I know it I'll be injecting Nutella into my eyeballs.

But you know, five-year olds are so haaaaard. Or anyway, lately mine is. People talk about the terrible twos but nobody tells you about the obstreperous fives. I was trying to find an f-word so there would be alliteration. But the only f-word that came to mind was The F-word.

But seriously, people, is this a Thing? Because Jordan has been so belligerent lately. He challenges everything. Everything is a struggle. He is much more difficult than my two-year old.

Which then makes it that much harder for me to stick to my guns on this cleanse business. I get frustrated and angry and lose my temper and feel guilty and also kind of sorry for myself. Big realization: I soothe myself with food and drinks!

Through all this Nick has been remarkably positive. He's jazzed about doing this. He feels good. He said his office was filled with treats yesterday and he didn't have any. I said that actually, this is the perfect time to be doing this, because you never just have one.

Two nights ago I dreamt of eating pink frosted sugar cookies and donuts, neither of which I eat in real life, in Philadelphia with Jane.

Last night I dreamt about having sex with Dexter in Las Vegas and my only explanation is the fact that we've been watching episodes of Dexter in between Game of Thrones. It's been very death-y around here.

No sugar, no grains, no dairy, no meat, no I can't even remember what-all. But lots of death. Good lord so much death. You can't get attached to anyone in Game of Thrones.

That's where we are: Stagnant fecal matter and valar morghulis.