So it turns out that getting a vasectomy appointment in DC takes a long time.
Like, you can schedule a root canal or a boob job or I don't know what-all in much less time.
Also, I somehow have trouble remembering the word vasectomy. I kid you not that before I started writing, I had to google "urologist" and "birth control" to find the word.
Because I myself have been calling it The Big Snip. I'm alone in enjoying this nomenclature, however.
In any case, it takes months to get an appointment. A friend had told me this, and it was true.
So the other night I was like, "Why does it take so long? DC is full of men with penises!"
And this is a true fact. Hand to God. DC is full of men with penises.
You'd think there would be more urologists. Or maybe there are lots of urologists, but not a lot who do vasectomies? Why would this be? It's just a tiny little snip, no?
In any case, when Nick called, the receptionist was like, sure, you can come in at 2pm on this specific day in June. And when he said he'd be out of town for work she said, "Can you change your trip?"
And Nick said, "Let's just look at the calendar and talk about some options."
So July. July is when the magic happens.
But as I said, we were talking about it the other night and I was all, "It can't be that complicated, right? We could probably even do it at home! I mean, as I understand it, you can just put a rubber band around pet balls and wait for them to fall off."
(Not that I know anyone who has done this. Nor could I imagine doing so. But I like to say it for the horror it generates.)
Nick, who is used to me and did not leap in horror, was all, "And then I'd be really, really grumpy for a long time."
So yah. We'll leave it to the professionals.