Thursday, April 07, 2016

Coming clean

So, I asked this gross question in a small group, and for the most part people were like, um, no, not as such.

I mean, nobody was offended or horrified or even bothered. It's a workout group run by my dear friend Wendy. So I knew it was a safe space to ask such a question. And in fact, there were hilarious responses and anecdotes.

But nobody, until one friend at like 11pm, said yes! Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about!

And here I should probably include a scatology warning. There. You've been warned.


I said:  OK, this is super gross but do you ever take such a huge poop that you are dying to show it to someone (but know better than to do so)?

Because, you guys! Don't you?

I remember before I had a baby and I was like, something that enormous is never, no way in hell, going to come out of my little body.

And then it did!

And every once in a while, I'm just stunned. Absolutely astounded. So much so that I want someone else to be all, "Whoa! I can't believe it either!"

It's not exactly that I think I'd impress anyone with my poop...but something like that.

So one of my friends in the group asked if I'd taken a picture. And I was about to feign shock and be all, "No! Of course not!"

But. Then I was like, am I really going to lie? Because I mean, the answer was no...Not this time.

Because the truth is that like three or four years ago, when I found myself in this same astounded position, I did take a picture. Surely Nick would want to see this giant! And share in my horror/amazement!

Turns out he didn't. He really really didn't.

So now I know better. But the urge to share? Still there.


  1. when i was about eleven, i took the largest poop ever. like, twice around the bowl in one big snakey fashion. i called my mom to come look, who called my dad, who then WENT AND GOT THE CAMERA. THE ONE WITH THE FILM. THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE TO BE DEVELOPED. so, yes, i know that feeling.

    1. I cannot comment on my phone so had to wait till I was on my laptop. THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER HEARD! I love this sooooo much!

  2. also, do you realize it's been exactly a year since i last saw you? gah, time flies.

    1. And wow! Yes, too long! Let's see each other here or there soon!

  3. I feel this way about my kid's poop. As in "Husband, you have to see how big this poop is that just came out of our small child, since said poop seems longer than said child's intestines." My husband is a nurse though, so nothing grosses him out.

    1. Yes! Whoever's poop it is! If it's impressive, you want to share!

  4. We were totally an "impressive poop sharing" couple. Nathan used to get these nachos from a bar we went to regularly, and we weren't sure if it was food coloring from the jalapenos what, but he would poop like, fluorescent green the next day. One day (when I was pregnant with Jane) I came home to an empty house and lifted up the lid of the toilet to find a MOUND of the green poo with a paper note LAID ON TOP that said "surprise!". Hahhaaaaaa, I miss him.
    p.s. I'm sure I can find the pic somewhere... that is, if you are really interested ;-)

    1. I know the color you speak of, and that fluorescent green is insane! The kids have both had it from food dye in ice cream.

      As for the poop and the note, that is hilarious! Truly hilarious! I love it! And no, I don't need a pic, but thanks! :)


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