Old/new fantasies

Old fantasies included: sex and opulence and exotic travel and skimpy outfits and ridiculously expensive, perilously high heels.

New fantasies include: having the use of two hands at once; a full night of sleep; a robot that changes diapers; regular showers; time to write; time to read. . .

I love the shit out of the kid (and on that note, who knew I'd be fine smearing someone's anus with Butt Paste?), but I miss you all.

And today makes one week

Today the boy turns a week old.

This picture was taken last Saturday, and it is one of my favorites. We've taken 8 million more, but I just don't have it together to get them loaded and up yet.

I'd love to say I've seen all kinds of changes in him in the past week, but the truth is, I was heavily sedated for the first few days, and only mildly less so until maybe Sunday when we left the hospital.

I can say for sure he's a lot more alert and he eats a lot more. And he is the softest, sweetest, best snuggler on the planet. I believe this for an absolute fact.

So a week.

It's kind of crazy to measure time of life in weeks, isn't it? I briefly considered adding up my weeks, and then thought the better of it.

But then when you're measuring baby, it's all inches and ounces. And weeks and days. (And sometimes hours and minutes, no?)

But the days. In terms of the C-section, it's like people said - every day is a bit better. Slowly adding up to a lot better.

Because a week ago, I couldn't feel anything from my breast down. I was peeing through a tube. And now, look, I'm walking!

I can't remember, but I think they took the epidural out and turned off the Pitocin Thursday afternoon. They said once I could start feeling my legs enough to walk, they'd take out the catheter.

And I remember thinking, but I love the catheter! It's like magic! Because I don't think there's any way I'll be able to get out of bed again! Ever!

And then they made me get out of bed to pee. It's up there with scariest things I've ever done. But I got up and then was very much like holymotherofgod, no, no, nonono I most definitely cannot do this again.

But then I did it again. And again. And then once on my own. Although really, if they'd kept accompanying me, I'd have let them.

I will tell you that I've never had so many strangers see so many of my private bits. And I didn't even care.

In fact, I've never asked so many people to look at my nipples. Come to think of it, I don't believe I'd ever asked anyone to look at my nipples.

I thought about it and really, no, not once. And then you give birth and try to breastfeed, and there is a lot of what about my nipples?

But that's a whole nother story.

As is the suppository.

Anyway, hi!

My mama loves me, she loves me...

Jordan is aleep, Nick is getting a sandwich, and I am taking advantage of his laptop and air card. (No wifi in maternity! Gasp!)

The blogging, not so easy at the moment. But I really wanted to share some pics of the honest-to-goodness most incredible kid on the entire planet.

And we're pretty sure we're not biased in our assertion.

Just-born pouty lips.Newly born with happy happy Gramma Betty.And look how proud we are. And today, asleep in Dad's arms.The C-section business sucks pretty tremendously, but even so, I'm having the time of my life.

Happy weekend, all!

Guest Blog: Jordan is here

Jordan arrived at 4:24 p.m. today. He is 21.25 inches long and weighs 8 pounds and 14 ounces. Lisa and Jordan are both very healthy and are doing fine. Nick

Well, yah

I told you this would be hard.

We have been here since 7 pm last night.

The Cervidil did nothing. Why? Because I have some scarring on my cervix.

The OB has tried three times to break it up. Nothing doing. And so I have to have a C-section.

We are next but we're also so fucking healthy that we'e not an emergency. So we've been about to be taken in to the OR since oh. noonish.

I have an IV. I have a catheter. I had an epidural. I can't feel most of my body.

I'm nauseous; Ive thrown up. A bunch. I might do so again - not clear at the moment.

I've cried and cried. It scares the shit out of me.

And now they just said the OB I've been waiting on isn't feeling well. So we are waiting on her replacement from the practice.

Who, on the bright side, might be less of a bitch than today's doctor.

I'm so upset. And I'm so frustrated. I was prepared for stamina-requiring feats of strength.

But this?