Monkey porn

I used to read Cosmo when I traveled. It was both mindless and fun -perfect for the plane. Little fashion, little dating advice, makeup tips, etc. But the article titles were always so embarrassing, and were in large enough font and bold enough colors that the guy three rows away could see them.

So everyone knew you were reading "Masturbation at the Office! Should You or Shouldn't You?" or "Quiz: Anal Sex - Is It for You?"

Or some such thing that made you feel like a total deviant, just by virtue of the fact that you were holding it in your hands.

I stopped picking up a Cosmo years ago, and instead bring New Yorkers along for the plane. I am always, always behind in my reading. So when I travel, I always have at least a couple in my bag. Plus they are handy for anyone who might seem in need of some TLC.

Anyway, New Yorkers make me happy. The writing is excellent, you learn interesting things, and the magazine is dense enough that it can last you for quite a while. Very helpful when traveling.

So the July 30 issue, which I read on the way to New Orleans, has an article about bonobos, which are similar to chimpanzees, but smaller and happier and more peaceful. They have very sweet monkey faces. And they only live in one tiny area of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

If you Google "bonobos" (with the S - bonobo singular just gives you links) the first thing you will see is pictures of them having sex. Because, according to this article, they do it all the time. Which, it is posited, is why they are so happy and peaceful. They have sex instead of conflict. It's a nice idea, but I was trying to imagine a human society with the bonobo approach.

Like, you have a car accident, and both people are furious.

"WTF?? There was a green turn arrow!"

"You were speeding! Asshole!

"What do you think? Should we just fuck it out?"

Not so much.

So back to the bonobos and the New Yorker. On one of the pages of the article was this large picture of two bonobos having sex. The female is laying on her back, arms back, legs wrapped around the male on top of her. She has this eyes rolled up blissful look on her face.

The article was interesting but the whole time I was reading I was painfully aware of this picture. I kept the magazine open rather than having the monkey sex picture facing my fellow travelers in the airport.

Look! Reading the New Yorker! Literature! Not monkey porn!