Thursday, June 19, 2008

On the bright side, you are wearing underwear

What I don't get is how I can sometimes be so self-conscious and other times so completely oblivious.

I have been screen printing these napkins for Betty. They have leaves printed on them. The leaves are going to be red, and the napkins orange.

I'll post pictures once they're done.

So the other night I was about to jump in the shower.

"Is that blood?"


"Did you cut yourself?"

"What are you talking about?"

"On your stomach. And your thigh. What is that?"

I look down. "Oh. Dye."

"Dye? On your stomach?"

"I was screen printing this afternoon."


"Well, in my underwear."

See, my apartment gets hot. I've had the air off because I'm never there. And when I turn it on, it takes a while to cool down.

When I bought my place, the first thing I did was paint my kitchen and bedroom. It was October, when the days were warm but the nights cool.

Nobody was available to help, and I wanted to get it done. It turned out to be a lot of labor. Especially with high ceilings. With both the taping and the painting I had to keep scooting the ladder every foot. Up and down and over and up and down and over.

I only have one window in my bedroom. And eventually, even though it was cool outside, my room was really warm. I cracked open a beer, kept painting, but it was just hot.

So at some point I stripped down to my bra and undies. It really didn't matter - I was all by myself.

As night fell, I turned on one light and then another. And then suddenly I realized that it had gotten really dark.

I realized this because I was looking across the street into the goings-on in a neighboring apartment. Because you know how when it's dark out, you can see very clearly into other people's lit apartments?

Yah. So I was hit very strongly with this chiaroscuro effect while standing on the ladder, painting the corner just next to and above the window.

Realizing that my underwear-clad ass was framed perfectly in the one brightly-lit square in the wall.


  1. I strip down to nada 30 seconds upon walking through my apartment door, but not for temperature reasons. My clothing, if worn, gets covered in dog fur, cat hair, dust bunnies, etc.

    I'm sure my neighbors can see me, but I'm not too bothered. I do, however, keep my eyes fixed to the sidewalk when one of them passes me by. But they probably don't recognize me, all covered up.

  2. Hahaha! I'm gonna imagine they DO recognize you, and your nickname in the neighborhood is probably "naked hot girl, or something of the sort.

  3. I'm the same. I walk around in underwear all the time. My roomie calls our apartment "the nudist colony".

  4. You would make the best character in a book or movie :)

  5. working from home, I frequently sit at my desk in my underwear. I'm not at all careful about passing windows, so I don't doubt I regularly put on a show for the neighbors.

  6. haha great story!!! never done that while painting before but definitely had the same realization. :-)

  7. I bet the neighbors were ready to welcome you into the neighborhood after that...especially the men.

  8. hey - i also work at home, frequently in underwear and perhaps a t-shirt . . . one morning my sixteen year old daughter came into my office. she was wearing her sponge bob square pants shorty pjs, and i mentioned that they were getting a little short. she said nothing, but gave me a look that shouted: "and i'm going to take advice from you?" she then appraised my attire of the day: cotton briefs and one of my husband's t-shirts, sweeping her hand toward me as though she were presenting evidence to a jury. then she rolled her eyes and left the room. i burst out laughing because she was right - i have no business telling anyone how to dress!


  9. This is why we should be neighbors, because I would come over, snicker, ring the doorbell, snicker some more, and THEN tell you what that you might want to cover up.

  10. NICE. I guess we should all search youtube for the tags, neighbor, underwear, voyeur, screen printing.

  11. Lemmonex - Haha! The nudist colony. Excellent!

    HKW - Oh, how I adore you!

    Wendy - I am going to bet this is one more reason your neighbors absolutely love that you've joined the neighborhood.

    mrsmac - It is sooo easy to forget, isn't it?

    Amisare - My neighborhood has a LOT of gay men, so now that I think about it they were probably like, what? One more woman prancing around in her underwear? Whatev.

    LJ - I LOVE that. I love that she looked you up and down and was like, um, mom? Pot kettle?

    Slightly Disorganized - Oh, I wish we were neighbors! Ha!

    Rich - Definitely. Let me know what you find.


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