Two cookies, chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels, and contemplating a Snickers.
I am up against a big deadline at work. Hence the ridiculous amount of carbs and sugar.
Plus lots of coffee to mitigate the lack of sleep. Because the boy, he has been waking up and waking up.
I stagger around all tired during the day. I get my work done, but barely, and by the skin of my teeth (whatever that weird expression means).
Then at night I hurry home in time to play a little, nurse the boy, and put him to bed.
We eat. I shower. Or don't. I go to bed and stress about how many hours I might get before Jordan wakes up the first time. Which delays the falling asleep. The utter lack of control over my amount of sleep - hell, over my everything - has me kind of worked up.
But the lack of sleep, cripes. My kid is killing me softly, one night at a time.
I didn't used to have quite as many wrinkles. Or bags under my eyes. Or such a short fuse.
He wakes up. I hear him, and I get all resent-y. Until I see his sweet little face and remember how much I love the shit out of him.
But boy am I tired and grumpy every morning. And the cycle repeats itself. Hurry, stagger, hurry, sleep.
And honestly, I just feel like I do a crap job at everything anymore.