One of the women in my office is organizing a wedding shower for a woman who gets married in a couple weeks. The shower is tomorrow afternoon.
The organizer decided, just for fun, to ask three couples who have been married different lengths of time to answer the question "What have you learned from being married?" She chose Nick and me as a recently-married couple, and asked us to answer the question separately.
She said it could be serious or funny, however we wanted to approach it.
It was more difficult than I anticipated. I approached it a variety of ways, deleted one after another, and ultimately, here's what I said:
What I’ve learned in 2 3/4 years of marriage:
With marriage, the two of you are working towards something bigger than yourselves. And it is work. I don’t know if I thought marriage would be a piece of cake, but I didn’t actually anticipate how much work it would take to build and maintain a healthy, solid relationship. I believe that you get out even more than you put in, though.
It’s rarely even – one of you will carry more of the load for a time, and then the other will, or you carry it in different ways, as you have different strengths. Sometimes you are tired and resentful, and sometimes your partner will make you so angry that you go to bed mentally dividing up the furniture, but you still wake up with the certainty that you will spend the rest of your life with this person, and you are lucky for it.
For those of you who are married, if asked (and I'm asking), what would you say?