Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Which would just be terribly awkward for all involved

So I don't know if you've ever sat in your cube and contemplated how you might furtively squirt breast milk onto your finger? Or really, any part of your body, for that matter.

Because here's the thing. I sliced the tippy tip of my little finger with a scissor. This turns out to be a particularly inconvenient cut, because my wee finger is too small for the finger bandages we have, and it's hard to type with a band aid anyway. But it's a spot that re-opens easily.

And since breast milk is magic - seriously - I realized that I had this amazing resource right at my fingertips.

Now, one of my boobs is all, "Oh, pick me, pick me!" enthusiastic. That one has been known to squirt through a T-shirt. Sometimes India will pull off and she has these sprinklers of milk dousing her little face. She blinks all sweetly and confusedly.

The enthusiastic boob, however, is on the finger-cut side. The other one will rise to the occasion for India, but you really have to cajole it for pumping.

The reluctant boob would be the one I'd have to use. It wouldn't be quick and easy.

So I pictured myself sitting at my desk, shirt up, bra unhooked, squeeezing my boob, working to coax a few drops of milk onto my pinky finger...and having a colleague stop by.

What would you even say? "Hi! Want, uh, some milk?"

Awk. Ward. Horror.

So I toughed it out and waited until the pumping - the dread pumping, in the "quiet room" - and then used a little for medicinal purposes.

In other words: I'm back at the office. And, hi!


  1. As a nursing mama, I'm confused. Say you hurt your left finger, and your left boob is the "good" one. Why couldn't you hand express your left boob with your right hand? But yes, I hear you on the squirting fountain! I'm trying to break myself of the "god damn it kid" I utter when he unlatches right after I let down and milk goes everywhere. That stuff is sticky!

    Also, I'd love a post on all of the magical things boob juice is good for!

    1. Oh, I hurt my right hand finger, and my right boob is the good one, but...uh, now that I'm reading what you wrote, you are exactly right. Why couldn't I? I have no idea. In any case, I shouldn't be squeezing either boob in my cube.

      I don't know everything it's good for, but I do know some stuff! Will work it into a post!

      Also, I think the swearing is healthy. You have plenty of time to break yourself of this habit. And hi, Tia! Glad to hear nursing is gonig well!

  2. Howdy! Welcome back!

    "The reluctant boob would be the one I'd have to use." Love this sentence! And it's fascinating to learn that boobs perform differently while nursing and have healing powers like aloe vera.

    "I shouldn't be squeezing my book in my cube". I just read this in the comment, haha, so funny!

    I hope the wound on your finger heals soon!

    1. Boob. Not book. I don't type boob, often...

    2. I shouldn't really be squeezing anything in my cube - boob or book! :) Yah, breast milk has antibacterial properties and for India's little scrapes and scratches has healed her fast - kind of like that wolf man that Hugh Jackman played on Xmen.

  3. ha! i used to put it on my always chapped lips because i believed in the magical healing powers too... i didn't notice a difference, just weirder than pulling out my chapstick. then again i never had to do it in an office and rarely wore tops during that phase so...

    1. Oh, interesting! I hadn't thought about it for chapping. I've been using Lansinoh and that stuff, while it smells weird, is great!

  4. Replies
    1. I think it's helping, seriously!

  5. Aw man! I totally missed out on the magical healing part of having easy access to breast milk. I just had no idea. Damn oh well.


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