The Nature Outing

Yesterday was glorious. Warm, sunny, beautiful.

The kind of day that gives a person hope that winter will not actually last for the rest of our lives.

February may be the shortest month, but damned if it doesn't last like eight years. Every single time.

But yesterday. Ohhh.

So Nick said, "Let's go for a hike! We'll go to Great Falls!" 

Our children, who turn out to be about as nature-y as I am, were all, "Noooooooooooo!"

They went boneless. They slumped on the floor. They groaned. 

And while it is true that if left to my devices I will have a nibble of the outdoors, like a nice run, perhaps, and then retreat to a good book indoors, I do recognize how much better we feel when we walk outside, touch a tree, connect with actual earth.

In the grim depths of the pandemic, I would drag the kids and Wanda to Rock Creek, and we would walk for maybe 30-40 minutes. On the path next to the water, we would stop and yell at the top of our lungs.

We'd return rejuvenated.

So we scraped the kids off the floor, and I packed water and snacks. We settled the kids and Wanda, who loves the rare car ride, comfortably in the back. We headed for Great Falls.

As did, unbeknownst to us, the rest of the DC metropolitan area.

As I said, the day was gorgeous. We were all immediately in better moods on the road to the nature!

The kids had snacks. We listened to music. We got into Virginia.

And everything slowed down. The road got narrower and windier. The traffic increased. Everywhere that there was a parking lot along the road was packed, with cars waiting for spaces to park.

It was stop and go. 

We were about a mile and a half from the park and traffic was stopped in our lane. We assumed it was a line to enter the park.

We had three hours until India's orthodontist appointment. And no desire to wait an hour to get in.

We decided to turn around. If there was a spot in any of the lots on the way, we'd park and take a hike there.

So Nick pulled a quick U-turn.

A few minutes later, Jordan started to yell. "Wanda's puking! Wanda's puking on my lap!"

Wanda, dearest Wanda, who has been terribly itchy for a while, who has recently started eating fish kibble, which has totally helped with the skin itching, puked that fishy kibble into Jordan's lap.

Which caused Jordan to retch. Which caused India to retch.

If this is reminiscent of an earlier incident, let me just tell you that regurgitated fish kibble is way better than poo.

Nick pulled the car down a small side road and parked in front of another car, also pulled over. Because, as it turned out, her small daughter needed to go potty.

She offered us wipes. Boy, were we grateful.

So Nick swabbed Jordan off, and mopped up the back seat with the wipes, while I walked Wanda in the big grassy area next to us. 

India saw what looked like the back of a tiny library and asked if it was OK if she went and looked at the books.

I was pretty sure it was one of those signs that tell you the name of the manor or horse farm or whatever property we might be trespassing on, but she was having so much fun running in the grass.

Seriously. She and Jordan and Wanda were frolicking.

Jordan was like, "I like this field! Can we hike here?"

I didn't have the heart to tell my city child I was pretty sure it was someone's lawn.

So we got our sunshine and prancing out, and then India checked herself for ticks, because The Nature has many dangers great and small.

And then we went home. And Jordan took a shower.

The end.

Ah, New Year's Eve, we meet again

Happy New Year's Eve from our home in Washington, DC, current Covid hotspot. 

I mean DC is a hotspot. Our home is probably more like a warmspot?

So, last summer a friend of mine gave me a packet of CBD gummies.

They were little prettily-colored rectangles, ostensibly fruity but all tasting kind of like freshly mown grass, but most importantly, helpful for sleep.

In any case, I packed them in my Dopp kit but at some point it was a billion degrees in the car, and that night when I opened them to take a small slice, they were all melted together.

You could see the distinct colors but no physical delineation. They were firmly one multicolored glob.

And that's how this pandemic has been for me.

I can sort of attribute events to the first Covid year and the second Covid year, but as I have a tendency to think that everything was last month, even in normal time, I don't always get it right.

When was it that the kids and I were lying on the ground crying about online school, like, every day? Was that last year or this year? I honestly can't remember.

I remember wiping down our groceries and setting the mail aside for 72 hours (I think it was 72) and wearing latex gloves. I remember being scared of any and every molecule outside the house. 

That was early 2020, right?

I remember going to protests in front of the White House. Everyone was masked, and obviously we were outside, but I remember being worried about getting Covid. But feeling like it was important to join the protests.

(And when I say in front I mean about 500 miles away because so much fencing had been put up to keep the hoi polloi far away.)

After that, or maybe even because of all those protests and really no transmission, we learned that outside transmission is very unlikely. That was definitely 2020.

Vaccination was 2021. Hope that this would all be coming to an end. Seeing fully vaccinated friends inside. Only a couple, here and there. Not a party. No, definitely not a party.

But feeling confident in gathering outside, all vaccinated and maskless and in way closer proximity than we would have the prior year.

And then the news that people were getting Covid and transmitting it despite the vaccines. 

We'd still be protected, and we most likely wouldn't die, but we could still get very sick.

That was recently, right? I think before Thanksgiving?

So imagine my surprise to realize that it was nearly Christmas.

And now, as time as we mark it is linear, it is now New Year's Eve. 

Lo, 2022 is upon us!

We ended the first pandemic year without catching Covid.

We are ending the second Covid year with plague in the household. India brought Covid home from school. Honestly, it tore though her school.

They had everyone go online for the last day before break. They emailed to say 20 people had reported being positive.

India had a cough, and felt a little tired, but she was fine. Good appetite, good energy.

I gave her a rapid test, and it was positive. I hauled us all to Rockville for the only PCR tests we could find on Christmas Eve.

Then Betty caught it. Betty! Who we have worked our hardest to shield. My mama, who has COPD and has been my primary concern this entire pandemic.

She opened gifts Christmas morning, and then said she was tired and went to bed, and then didn't get up for several days.

Fortunately, DC has been giving away free rapid tests at libraries, and we have made good use of them.

So we knew.

She is doing OK, I'd like to report.

Saturday she got sick, and Sunday was scary. Her oxygen got quite low, but not emergency-level low. The doctor on call told me to buy a pulse oximeter, and gave me a number below which to rush her to the ER.

We flirted very near that number, and we set our alarm for 2:00 am and 5:00 am to check on her. Nick very kindly donned a mask and did the checking and let me sleep.

But her oxygen has been quite good since then. She now has a crazy itchy Covid rash. It's a thing.

And here's the part where I, after nursing my baby girl and my mama, also get Covid.

Which is hardly a surprise.

What is a surprise, a good surprise, is that neither Jordan nor Nick have contracted it. 

We hope to keep it that way.

India has already tested negative.

My mom's doctor assumes it's Omicron, because that's what seems to be going around DC.

Thanks to vaccines, none of us have gotten critically ill.

I feel like I have a cold. I'm exhausted, and have some joint and muscle pain.

But mostly I'm tired. And oooh, crabby. I don't think the crabbiness is listed as a typical Covid symptom. Anyway, it isn't on any checklists I've seen.

It is exhausting to be sick and taking care of another, sicker person. And making sure your kids eat. And making sure they walk the dog.

Although now Nick is on vacation and he has taken over, and I am glad.

Yesterday afternoon Nick came home and I stayed in bed. He fed the kids steak sandwiches, vegan crab cakes, canned fried onions, and ice cream.

They were delighted, though frankly, typing that makes my stomach all swirly.

God knows what their NYE feast might look like.

So we are ending 2021 in a quiet sort of way.

I mean, quiet but for the coughing and nose blowing and occasional bickering.

Who knew we could spend such saturated time together?

As 2021, a year with moments of extreme joy, and a lot of fear, and truly, the knowledge that I have so much to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for the people I love who love me back. I say regularly that I have many flaws, but I have excellent taste in people.

This is still true.

I'm grateful for Dr. Fauci, for scientists, for the many who believe in science, and for vaccines. I do hope they are made available to way more people in the world.

I'm grateful that we are safe and together, even if I have to wear a mask when I come down to the kitchen.

I'm incredibly thankful that my mom is well enough to be home, and not to be in a hospital, sequestered from everyone. This is not luck, or heartiness, though she is a very strong frail person. 

But let's be real: this is the gift of vaccination.

I also, however, believe in the power of prayer, the power of good energy, and so many friends have been praying and sending good wishes to my mama in this time. I am so thankful for those. I believe every single one of them help.

I'm thankful for our loving community. I do hope that 2022 is a better year for everyone. 

I have no predictions, and I have no resolutions.

Thank you for caring about us, and thank you for reading. 

I hope for health, safety, love, and joy for all of you.

Love love love to you.

Gift ideas from women-owned small businesses

Although I love Christmas, love the lights, love the cookies, love the color and sparkle, today I was all, "Holy crap, it's December!"

How did this year go so fast?

So maybe in this holiday season you need a gift or two for someone else or maybe someone who loves you needs to buy you a gift?

I don't want to be all food blog where you're just all get to the fucking recipe already, but I have stories, so I warn you in advance. Since I have a lot to say, I'm going to kind of tell this in story form based on things I own, use, wear, benefit from, love.

You know how to scroll if you'd had enough of the blah blah, so I'm not worried about you.

Here are representative suggestions of their wares, but really, you should visit their sites and browse and revel.

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Earrings from PamChamJewelry

The link above is to her Etsy shop, but you should also follow her on IG, because she posts a lot there that she makes for local markets and so they don't make it into her Etsy shop. Also, if you message her with something you have in mind, she will make it for you.

Pam has a phenomenal sense of humor and her creations have a lot of whimsy and she's an incredible human on top of it all.

I lucked out with this jelly bean ring. A friend saw me wearing it, and Pam didn't have the exact same stone, but a very similar one, and now my friend has her own creation. So.

I met Pam because she lived in a group house with Maude, although I have to mention here that by group house I mean a number of unrelated people who lived in a large house to share housing costs. 

I say this because a friend thought I meant an addiction center or something of the sort. And while there's no shame in that, it's not what I mean.

So, I lived like six blocks away in another group house, and I spent a lot of time at Maude's. This was before I discovered antidepressants, and so I likely spent a lot of time languishing, moping, or openly weeping at Maude's.

And still, Pam liked me enough that we're still friends and I get to see her every summer when we head up to Maine, and sometimes I get lucky enough to stay with her family. 

Last summer, post-vaccination, Maude and I both stayed there, and I hadn't laughed that hard in years.

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Stabby chicken mug from freemanclayworks:

Andrea ships a lot of her pottery to stores and doesn't yet have a personal website, but look her up at freemanclayworks on IG (linked above. That's where I contacter her when I learned (through Pam, because they are friends!) that she makes these awesome stabby chicken mugs. I had to have one.

And because the world is an odd and sometimes magical place, it turns out that she lived in Nepal in her youth and we have common dear friends. I love that.

Look at the back of the mug. It's perfect. Whoever Georgia is, I love her.

 --

Whimsical, stretchy, comfortable clothing from Jordan Piantedosi (who you should also follow on IG)

Yes, that's me. I wear a lot of her outfits and they seriously make me feel like a superhero.

And look, it's not all athleisure suits-- here's my mama in her lovely possum scarf. 

 (Also, I am hoping to receive this Strawberry Dragon puffer for Christmas. It will match my strawberry dragon athleisure suit. I just really need pink boots. Maybe lug soled or clog boots. Very pink. I haven't yet found any.)

The truth is, Jordan vastly improved my pandemic. I started ordering her clothing and my days got brighter. I walked around our neighborhood in these matchy-matchy tops and bottoms and sometimes this made neighbors laugh out loud.

And then I laughed out loud. It felt good. 

India and I started doing Jordan Piantedosi photoshoots around the neighborhood. We had a blast.  

Jordan and I started messaging about clothing, and then moved to sharing memes, and honestly, and aside from being an incredibly talented artist, she's just a really great human.

India and I met up with her for an afternoon in Boston last summer. The three of us wound up doing a photoshoot. This is possibly my favorite photo from it.

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Jewelry, perhaps a bespoke name bangle or necklace made by English Norman at ESN artisan jewelry

I met English through Wendy. First we were in a workout group together. The group morphed into a work out but also talk about everything else that might be going on with our bodies or minds group. 

And then I got to spend some time with her in person. I love English.

Look at this bangle stack. I have one, but stacked is really cool.

I have a very special name bangle with my kids' names on it, and also an I DISSENT necklace with pearls. They're both so interesting and charming, and I always get compliments.

English is, in addition to being an incredible mom, hilarious person, and creative artist, a beekeeper, chicken keeper (chickener?), dog and cat rescuer. She rents goats to clean up her garden. 

When she finds insects that are already dead, she incorporates them into jewelry. I sent her a bunch of cicadas recently. I'm interested to see them in adornments.

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And finally, for something lovely you can give or recieve nownownow if you don't have time to wait for shipping.

An energy balancing session from Alexa de los Reyes

Alexa is a dear friend of mine and one of the smartest people I know. She's kind and loving and she makes me laugh. She has this totally calming energy just speaking to you.

I've written before about Alexa, and how she has helped me with her energy healing. I recently had a phone session with her and while I don't understand it, I know it's helpful. She says it's not like Eleven going to that dark alternate plane, but she goes somewhere and connects with your body there.

I can't understand it, but I do benefit from it. Like how I explained to Nick, when I was trying to talk him into acupuncture, saying that you don't have to believe for it to work. Acupuncture works on animals, for example.

And then he was all hilariously, "Animals don't believe in acupuncture?"

And he wonders why I joke about stabbing him.

Anyway, to get back to the topic at hand.

Alternative treatments such as these aren't covered by insurance, sadly! But what a lovely, healing, calming gift during the stressful holiday period/endless fucking pandemic.

It's been fun to write about women I adore who create beauty and goodness in the world. I hope these are helpful.

Love to all, and to all a good night!

(Happy shopping/browsing. No stabbing.)

Nero

Right now the world feels like a hopeless place

This is not a cry for help

Yes, I'm taking my meds

Although a three-day involuntary hold does sound

Kind of appealing, I must admit

I'm kidding

Mostly

It's sunny, and for this I am grateful

Yes, I'll take a long walk

 

A nap might help

But when I say the world is hopeless

I feel like this is more fact than opinion

Look

The world is alternately burning and flooding

And yet climate change is still in debate

Coal and gas are money

And money always wins

Why'd it take me so long to learn that money is power and power decides everything

For everyone else

And good people in power do not stay good

The world is gorging and starving

A college student choked to death during a hot-dog-eating contest

So much of humanity has nothing, literally nothing, to eat

I guess there are lots of ways to die

I read where a German Shepherd is selling one of Madonna's old houses

For millions and millions

Apparently it has a spectacular view of the water

I saw a tent in our park with a small table and plant placed in front

So maybe it's home now

DC is lifting the indoor mask ban

This makes me anxious

But what doesn't, really

If people died faster of Covid

It wouldn't spread as far

This is an epidemiological fact

Look at ebola

Turns out a horse dewormer will not cure it

Our brother-in-law took ivermectin and died

Of Covid

Though they lied and said it was a heart attack

Because masks are socialism and the vaccine is government control

People are the worst and also all we've got

The voice in my head keeps whispering, "Make bad choices"

Have a drink or three eat the whole box of cookies stay up all night watching Netflix

The opposite of a constructive playground mom

I don't do it but I want to

This is not a cry for help

It's that the rich white guys have the money and are the lawmakers

Or buy the lawmakers

They fiddle in outer space

While the world is burning and choking and drowning

I feel like this is more fact than opinion

14 years of last-first-date-ness

Tonight is the night, 14 years ago, Nick and I met for the very first time.

A year later I wrote about my last first date.

In November of 2007, we had several dates in rapid succession, and then I went away with my fabulous friend Jen for our very own Thanksgiving in Mexico, and I have to say that I just now looked back on those posts, and there are not any photos but we did, very briefly, watch porn!

Honestly, my trip to Cancun with Jen was the funnest Thanksgiving of my life. I have many delightful memories and photos from that trip.

I returned from the trip and Nick was my boyfriend. Like, really, actually, solidly my boyfriend.

And then he was my fiance. And then he was my husband.

Which, I'm happy to report, he still is.

I typically write a schmoopy post about our meeting. I love the early anniversary posts I wrote. I adore writing the goopy, lovey blogs.

But I have to be frank.

This year, this anniversary, we're rather annoyed with each other.

Or anyway, he was initially annoyed, and then he was kind of a giant dick, and now I'm still annoyed, although I'm trying not to be.

I'm not saying alcohol is the answer but I am saying that a tequila kind of took the edge off.

Because here's the thing. Everyone in this house but Nick is pretty messy.

Not like spill chocolate syrup on the floor and leave it. More like leave your jacket on a chair, and also your books in a pile, and your backpack, which has no actual designated location, wherever you might drop it when you come home on Friday.

And the counters get kind of full. And so on.

I was raised in a tidy house, but we had servants. I was never actually tidy.

Nick was raised in a household where children weren't even allowed in the living room because they might mess it up.

Our kids are allowed in the fucking living room. And by the end of each week, entropy has won.

When it all gets to a certain point, Nick gets mad. I told the kids earlier today that we had to tidy up the ground floor or Daddy would get mean.

And then we didn't tidy up.

And then Daddy got agitated and super pissy about the mess.

Frankly, I feel like there are many things I deal with daily and many things I ask our children to do, and I am met with resistance with all of them. And I'm tired all the fucking time without struggling with our children.

So the mess piles up.

And this might seem tangential but in my mind it is gential, or whatever the word might be. (Because at this point I have had a little more tequila and frankly, I don't care exactly what the word is.)

So. Nick is trying to eat healthier. So I make these healthy meals, and for the most party, my mom and India and I eat them. Nick and Jordan might--might--eat them once. And then never again.

Which means I've put all this effort into something that isn't appreciated.

Recently Jordan got mad at Nick about something and said, "All you think about is meat and mayonnaise!"

Nick initially thought it was funny, and then when I was like, "Uh, he pretty much nailed it!" he got kind of defensive.

I didn't say out loud that he also mainly thinks about work and rowing and sex. Not always in that order.

But meat and mayonnaise are up there for sure.

Anyway, I feel like we are having the kind of day where neither of us feel like what is important to us is valued by the other. And our efforts aren't recognized.

The fact is, this is something that happens. It's extremely annoying. In the way that living with other humans and trying to get along most of the time is challenging, and frankly, often annoying.

This evening I said, "I think we're not having one of those 'I'd marry you all over again' kind of days." 

And Nick said, "I'd marry you all over again."

And I was like, "uh."

Which is not to say I regret being married to him. Or that I think I'd be in more harmony with someone else. 

More, just, this shit is hard. And it doesn't actually matter what calendar day it is.

It's our 14-year meet-a-versary. 

More like meat-a-versary. With mayonnnaise. (HAHAHAHAHA!)

He's not going to find that funny.

Maybe next year.

Still, I love him. And he still loves me. 

He is my place of absolute safety. My guaranteed laughter. My home.

Maybe at year 15 we'll once again have a romantic Tabard date.

And come home to a tidy house.

Ya never know?