Tuesday, May 22, 2007

And so I will keep my mouth shut at baseball games from here on out

I went to see the Nationals play the Orioles Saturday night. It was a surprise invitation.

A friend of mine and I had plans to go to the Modernism show at the Corcoran Saturday afternoon. Which we did, and it was fabulous. It was laid out nicely and modern design is just so easy to look at.

I have realized, however, that I could never have my place decorated in a modern style, because you have to be a minimalist. And I tend more towards maximalism than minimalism, it seems. Not in a Baroque way. I just like fun stuff. And I’m not tidy enough to have absolutely nothing I own out in plain sight.

Which has nothing to do with anything.

So my friend M, in the middle of the exhibit, said that he had a surprise for later. And was I up for an adventure? Of course! Everyone who knows me knows that unless it has anything to do with weird meat products, I'll try anything and I love surprises and adventures!

The adventure turned out to be a baseball game. Now, I know nothing about sports. I’ve probably been to 10 sporting events in my entire life. But it was fun! Hot dogs! Yum! Beer! Yum!

M explained the rules, one of which being how the home team always gets to bat last. The score was tied 1-1 for a long time. When they finished the 9th inning, they were still tied. And so they played another one. And another one.

So it was the 11th inning, and the Orioles had 3 and the Nationals had one. And I was sitting there thinking, holy cow, we’re going to be here all night long! This is eternal!

So I said, “Wow! This game is going to go really late!”

“No, this is the last inning.”

“But it can't be. How can you say that?”

“Yes, Lis, it is. See how the Orioles are two ahead? The Nationals would have to get three runs to win. And they already have two strikes. It's really unlikely that they're going to win.”

“But I thought you said the Nationals get to keep batting till they win, right?”

He choked a little on his beer. “What did you just say?”

“You said. You said the home team keeps getting to go last until they win.”

Turns out he’d said no such thing. And then he pointed out that meant that the home team would always win. Which would just make no sense.

Which is true. If you think about it. Heh.


  1. You desperately need a "blonde moment" label. Desperately.

  2. It's a good thing you're pretty.

  3. If you've managed to avoid spectator sports for most of your life and yet still feel fulfilled, why start now?

  4. Funny story! I was at a wedding this weekend and the topic of "how to explain baseball to someone who's not American" came up.

    Don't feel bad because our entire table agree baseball is really hard to explain and comprehend for the 1st time. Games in general are hard to explain, like Cricket, especially if you're not European.

  5. LMNt - Shocking that I'm so willing to embarrass myself on the internet. I'll work on the blonde label.

    FK - Heh. Not sure what to say...

    HIN - I dunno. Kind of fun outing?

    HKW - That's so nice of you. But seriously, this was truly stupid. I don't know how I came up with something so ridiculous.

  6. That's kind of funny. I was at that game as well, and I had such a good time. I could be wrong, but I don't think I asked any questions as silly as yours! I love baseball!

  7. Another lesser known rule is that the Yankees must suck the joy out of the game of baseball. It's in the official rule book.

  8. Hot dogs = Weird meat products

    But beer makes it o.k. ;)

  9. VDoCA - Very funny we were at the same game! I'm ambivalent about baseball, which is probably why I only half listened to the rules.

    Arjewtino - Thanks - that one I'll have to commit to memory.

    G&D - Ah, you are right. But oddly enough, I love hot dogs. Even though I know they're icky.

  10. Quick question; has there ever been an Argentinian baseball player worth a damn?

    I didn't think so.

    Great story.

  11. I would submit that it makes perfect sense to the home team.

  12. INPY - I dunno. Bet they're hot, though.

    WiB - Yes! Thank you!


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