Because the thieves who took my wallet charged things to my credit card, it's considered fraud, and a police officer came to my office for me to file a report.
Incidentally, he was very cute and very nice. But unfortately, slightly delusional, because when he asked for my date of birth, he then consoled me on missing being a Virgo by a couple weeks - he was born the same year, one month later - and I had to correct him. Because Leo is actually the best sign out there.
But seriously. He was great. And he even went over to High Noon and looked at the store video with the manager. They called me while they were looking at the tape, trying to figure out what happened.
Anyway. Here's something very impressive. Those bastards charged $700 worth of stuff at Giant in less than an hour after stealing my wallet! $700! At Giant!
Isn't that amazing? One, how the fuck do you spend that much at Giant? And two, how do you shop that fast?