Tomorrow my dad has surgery. They take the feeding tube out of his nose and connect one to his stomach. They also want to reduce the size of the hole in his throat. They think these two things are keeping his trachea from recovering.
I have been acting like he will be fine, absolutely fine. He's so much better than he was two weeks ago. God, it was two weeks today. And it feels like a year.
Apparently in the scheme of things, these are minor surgeries. The doctor wants to do them both at the same time so he only needs to be under anesthesia once.
But they're still surgeries. And he's 70 years old. And his poor body has been through a lot.
The truth is, something could happen. He could still get an infection. He could get pneumonia. We could still lose him.
When I let myself really think about it, I am absolutely terrified.