I should be more mature than a dog. I really should.
I spent a good part of Memorial Day with this guy. Which also meant spending a lot of time with Kaylie. His little lemon beagle - like a regular beagle but blonde. What a coincidence, no? I figured we were destined to be friends. Until I realized that she loathes me. Because I am a huge impediment to her having ALL of his attention, and it really irritates her. She won't even look at me.
We went out strolling Saturday - coffee at Starbucks, walking around his neighborhood. Partly for exercise for the dog, partly to enjoy the gorgeous day. We stopped at Rocklands (yum!) to pick up BBQ for lunch.
He went in and I was standing outside with her. And she was at the far end of the leash, head pointed away from me, with this look on her face that read, "God knows I want nothing to do with that woman. It's a vile coincidence she's holding my leash."
And then he came out and she bounded towards him all "Love me love me love me! And get rid of her, wouldja?"
She is really, really bright, with lovely expressive black eyes. I know exactly what she's thinking and why she's behaving this way. I don't know what to do about it, though.
So we were walking and we passed a couple who was strapping their child into a stroller. Kaylie loves kids, so she headed over to sniff. The child reached for her.
He said to the couple, "Don't worry, she's really gentle. And she loves babies."
And I said, "Because they taste so good."
While he, at the exact same moment, said, "Because they're so tasty."
She's got me beat in the number of nipples category, but I know for a fact that I have a better sense of humor.
She's got me beat in the number of nipples category, but I know for a fact that I have a better sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard when I read this my jaw still hurts and my boss came over wondering what was going on.
Thanks. :-)
Wait!! Is this the "nice guy" we're all so excited about? Please tell me it is! He sounds delightful!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggles, btw! :D
VVK - I'm glad it made you laugh so hard! That makes me so happy!
ReplyDeleteG&D - Yes, it IS the nice guy! I haven't quite figured out what to call him on the blog yet...
I'm still laughing at this.
ReplyDeleteKaylie the dog is sooo pedestrian in her culinary tastes. Babies are best smothered in bearnaise sauce with a side of steamed asparagus tips.
And a dry, white.
Sheesh! What a bitch she is!
You're