The honeymoon. Or, where the eff are the Orkneys?

We've started talking about The Honeymoon.

As soon as we got engaged people started asking us where we were going to go. And we had no idea. We were both still stumbling around in the delighted bewilderment of being engaged. But now we've realized that actually, it's not that far off. We need to make a plan.

But first we need to agree.

For any of you familiar with our divergent taste in furniture or just about anything, you probably have some sense of where this is going.

"I'm dying to see Angkor Wat!"

Nick (having only vaguely heard of the place), responds, "Sure, honey. That could be interesting." He says this not very convincingly.

He then exclaims in delight, "Or! How about the Orkneys?"

"Where the fuck are the Orkneys?"

In case you, like me, had no idea, it turns out the Orkney Islands, which incidentally look beautiful, are part of Scotland. You go to the northern northest, and did I mention north part of Scotland. And then go north. These islands sit where the Atlantic meets the North Sea.

Brr.

And being rather profane, with a profound loathing of the cold, I continued on this eff-bomb extravaganza.

"Look how far north they are! The North Sea! Why the fuck would we go to the Orkneys?"

"It's beautiful. And desolate. We could go backpacking. The scenery is spectacular!"

"It would be really, really cold. I don't want to be cold on my honeymoon." (Nor, I might add, do I want to backpack.)

"It might be a little cold. But so beautiful!"

"The last time I went backpacking was in Nepal. It was the most gorgeous experience."

"See?"

"Part of the trek was also so cold that I didn't take off my clothes for a week. At night I would unhook my bra and take off my hiking boots. And that was all I took off."

"Huh."

"And the only time I unzipped my pants? Was when I used the latrine."

Brief pause.

"So. . .where's Angkor Wat?"