Friday, May 16, 2008

Another lucrative career option down the drain

From: Anonymous noreply-comment@blogger.com
To: lemongloria@gmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 9:19:16 AM
Subject: [Lemon Gloria] New comment on There's Always Foot Prostitution.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "There's Always Foot Prostitution":
you wouldnt make much, your feet are pretty ugly, dont ask me what sepparates a sexy foot from an ugly one, i just no, its the curse that comes with the unexplained obsession

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Shortly after I started LG, I had a very disgruntled day at work. I wrote a post complaining about my day, and describing how, for quite a while, I've considered foot prostitution a back-up career.

I wrote it mostly jokingly, although quite honestly, it's the only kind of prostitution I can imagine doing. It's your feet - who really cares?

So anyway, I got the email I pasted above, and whenever I get any kind of criticism, I immediately wonder if the person is right. This briefly made me feel bad about myself. I don't have beautiful feet, but are they really ugly? Would I be a terrible foot prostitute?

And then I got annoyed. It was like when my friends said I'd be a bad lesbian and I had to argue that I'd be a good one, even if I don't actually want to be. You hate to have options narrowed. I got a little defensive.

On a side bar: At this point, I really couldn't be a foot prostitute, ugly feet or no. Nick would be so not OK with it. I know this for a fact; we've discussed it.

Knowing me, you can imagine our conversations.

Lisa: "What if I quit my job and become a foot prostitute? Would that be OK with you?"

Nick: Rolls eyes. "No."

Lisa: "What if I made a lot of money?"

Nick: "No."

Lisa: "What if the guy was blindfolded?"

So anyway. . .

Finally I paused and realized the following. There are many people whose opinions matter to me, and from whom criticism could really make me feel bad.

But the random guy trolling the Internet looking for foot prostitutes on a Tuesday morning?

Not so much.

11 comments:

  1. Forget him. I think your feet are very cute. Of course what matters is if you and Nick think they are. Have a nice day!

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  2. exactemente!

    your foot would be high class escorts anyways.

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  3. Anonymous - Oh, thank you!

    Slightly Disorganized - That's exactly what they'd prefer to be. I mean, if they were up to that kind of thing. :)

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  4. yea, i wouldn't think much of this person's comment. they couldn't even bother to spell check. yikes.

    and who could resist that blue nail polish? hello!?!?!?

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  5. Judging from his outrage, I think he's head of the foot prostitute union, making sure the pool of foot prostitutes remain small and therefore can charge a ton.

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  6. Some random guy on the Internet We feel if was into feet would admire how unique and SPECIAL your very beautiful feet are.


    On to Our agenda for the commentary, We tag you to join in this literary endeavor. Your participation is not required, but it would honor Us deeply as We, Ourselves were honored to be tagged by FreidaBee.

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  7. I would imagine that just are there are men who like pretty pampered feet, there are men who like ugly feet. I know a man who likes to give pedicures and make feet pretty and pampered.

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  8. What the hell is a foot prostitute?

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  9. mrsmac - I know, I know. And I don't know how he got past the nail polish. It's pretty enchanting, isn't it? :)

    Mary - Ah! I bet you're right! Ha ha!

    Pain - Special! Thanks very much! And thanks for the tag. I will check it out.

    Anonymous - I imagine this to be true.

    Rich - Not entirely clear to me what one might do. But it turns out there are foot worship web sites.

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  10. Foot worship web sites? You've definitely tapped into something. I have pretty feet--makes me wonder if I'm not cashing in on a whole new world out there!

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Tell me about it.