Doesn't he look like he should have a can of Bud in one hand and the remote control falling out of the other?
You kind of expect to see a bag of potato chips on the floor and hear the game blaring out of the television. I mean, except for the fact that he's asleep in the arms of lovely Jenny. But if he were on a couch...
So lately, we've begun fighting sleep. By WE I mean the sleep pirate.
His eyes will get all tired and pink and puffy and he'll yawn and not, but still insist that he IS NOT TIRED! NO! What he really wants is to EAT! Or LOOK AROUND! Or CRY!
But sleep? No! Nonononono!
Apparently this is exactly how I was as a baby. I am lucky Betty didn't feed me to the wild dogs. Which is what I wanted to do with my brother. But that is a whole nother story.
What I have learned, though, is that he doesn't actually know what he needs. What he needs is more naps. This leads to not melting down at night, thoroughly exhausted.
And so I have begun forcing naps upon him. Which makes him a much happier baby.
Just not in the pre-nap moment.
Most of the time, leading up to the nap is a struggle. He'll fall asleep after nursing, and I'll think I can ease him into blanket and bed like I used to. And suddenly he's wide awake. And not happy.
So I have begun to swaddle him tightly, lay him with his head on my chest, rock, and sing to him.
Although if you know me, you will know that I don't sing. I can't carry a tune to save my life. And I'm self-conscious. Unless you know me really well, you likely will only see me mouthing words. Even to songs like Happy Birthday.
Plus, I don't yet know a lot of lullabyes.
But you know, he's my baby. And also, he doesn't know the real words yet.
So we have this continuously made up version of Lullabye and Goodnight.
I start with all the lines I know. And then continue on, sticking as closely to the tune as I am capable. Which is not very.
It's all done very calmly and sweetly. Even when I use profanity. Which is regularly.
Lullabye and goodnight.
Close your eyes and sleep tight.
I know that you are tired,
And you do not want to sleep.
Lullabye and stop your crying.
It's annoying as all hell.
I'll truss you up like a little turkey.
You sleep better when you can't move.
Lullabye my little sweet pea.
You are cranky and now so am I.
Mama wants to have some breakfast(/lunch/M&Ms/Valium/you name it).
So I wish you would just fall asleep...