I called in sick yesterday. I had a stomach thing.
I didn't write about it because, really? Live-blogging in those circumstances? And do we have to talk about poo every day?
Apparently we do. And it's not limited to social situations.
So I had a meeting with my boss this afternoon (I'm certain you're already like, oh, Lis, I can already tell this isn't going to go anywhere good...) and he asked if I was feeling better, and I said yes, totally fine. Yesterday no, and today, great.
He said, "Just one of those 24-hour things."
And I nodded and knocked on his desk and said, "And so far, my kid is fine."
Which then of course reminded me of the jean diapers. Because look, a squirrel!
So I said, "Have you seen the commercials for the jean diapers?"
His kids are teenagers. He's far out of the diaper loop. He shook his head.
"I bought some last night."
And then I suddenly had this stabbing fear that maybe he didn't realize I meant BABY diapers!
Maybe he thought I was sitting in his chair all, "So, yeah, boss. I got these really cool jeans. Except they're also diapers! And I could be pooing right now. In MY jean diapers. My secret jean diapers that I'm wearing under my professional black pants. That I'm mentioning to you very unprofessionally."
I laughed shrilly."Hahahaha!" Twitch twitch. "I mean, the BABY kind! For Jordan! Not...hahahaha!"
He held up his hand. "Yes, of course! Of course!"