I don't know if everyone always behaves the same way when they fight? Like, you have your pattern that you always fall into?
I don't think there's any reason to go into the Big Fight we had in the car on the way home.
Suffice it to say that we spent the end of the drive not speaking to each other. While Jordan wailed in the background - as he'd been doing for the prior hour or so.
If you're looking for an agitating soundtrack for an argument, find a screaming child.
But with this fight I realized the following: We anger quickly and have similar styles, which means our fights tend to be short and extremely caustic. And we both need time to calm down afterward before we can apologize. Once that's done, it's over. No grudges.
But in the meantime, we get mean and it is terrible.
When we've made each other so angry we don't want to speak to each other - which is pretty much what always happens - we retreat to familiar patterns.
Nick stomps around for a while, goes out and buys beer if we don't have any, and then watches TV.
While I'm stewing, I think he watches all the shows I think are incredibly stupid just to annoy me. Although really I think he watches them because, well, he likes them.
This further irritates me in the moment.
I'll sit and read, mentally dividing up our belongings, selling the house, and oh, God, does this mean I'll have to get back on Match? And does Nick know how hard I will make all of it for him? Because he's mistaken if he thinks this will be smooth and easy.
You know me. I get pretty far pretty fast.
And then some time passes - sometimes a whole night, and once a night and the following day - and maybe we're still irritated but not furious, and finally we can see where each other is coming from and discuss it calmly. At the end of the day we do love each other, and in this particular case, I'm sorry I took my frustrations out on him and he's sorry he got so angry.
I still think his taste in TV is idiotic, though.