Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Freedom's just another word for not having to take your kid with you to Costco

I left the boy with Betty yesterday and headed out to the particular circle of hell that is Costco prior to Thanksgiving.

Getting in the car, I had this tremendous rush of freedom.

The parking lot was horrendous. I circled and circled and finally waited for a woman with a child to load her car, saunter her cart back, and strap in her kid. Usually I avoid the kid people because they take forever.

I'm not doing the glass house stone throwing. I'm telling you. It's a process.

But I swear she gave me a dirty look for waiting. In fact, I think she walked her cart all the way back to the cart-putting place just because I was there with my blinker on. I bet she'd have ditched it on the side if I weren't.

Inside, people were staggering around, even more laden than usual, slowly pushing overloaded carts. One woman had six or seven turkeys in hers.

And I wasn't remotely bitter. Because I was alone. Unencumbered.

It sounds so unkind when I put it that way, doesn't it? But it's true. It felt so good.

So what if I was doing nothing more interesting than picking up 64 gallons of milk, 500 apples, and 40 pounds of cheese?

I was all by myself. No child to entertain. No little human constantly demanding my attention, wanting to get down, shrieking because I couldn't pick him up the moment he said, "Up! Up!"

It wasn't as drastic as when I first had Jordan, and hadn't yet been diagnosed with PPD, and going to the DMV felt like a spa vacation and once I left the house I never wanted to return.

Not at all.

But it was kind of like in the Disney cartoons where the birds are singing you a happy little tune, and delicious baking smells are wafting towards you, and the air sparkles with possibility.

Zennest damn Costco trip I've ever had in my life.

I mean, if Zen feels anything like baked bread samples and a new pair of fleece pants.


  1. I so totally get it. This weekend I was going to a place called Dream Dinners (you put together meals for the week. I think up by you it's called Let's Dish) Anyway, I was telling hubby how excited I was to have 2 hours where I'd be All.By.My.Self! I no sooner got "myself" out of my mouth, than we both heard "Mommy!" from the other room.

    We just laughed. And I enjoyed every minute of my few hours alone.

  2. I think that's exactly what Zen feels like. Except I think Zen might also include 5-lb apple pies and (at the ones in NJ) handles of top-shelf booze at drastically reduced prices.


  3. "Zennest damn Costco trip I've ever had in my life."

    I love that line... :-)

    *hugs* and Happy Thanks giving to you all.

  4. You are a Zen master then because I could never find bliss at Costco. Ever. I hate that place more than mean people. Probably because the one near our house is filled with mean people.

  5. Here, here sister. I used to be in and out of the grocery store in no time but now, if I get to go alone, now, I linger and check out aisles I don't usually go down and then I find that its been an hour and holy crap I need to go get my kid. But it was a peaceful hour.

    By the way, on a totally different topic. My husband came home from the grocery store and guess what was attached to the receipt? A coupon for Chelada. I shit you not. I can't seem to throw it away. I feel like I ought to mail it to you or at least a picture. My husband, (who is not in on the story) does not get why this continues to crack me up. LOL

  6. cla517 - It's kind of amazing timing on that one. It's like the little antennae went up! I just heard of Let's Dish! I haven't checked it out, though.

    Jessica - Oh, yes!!! Or pecan pie (which I sampled yesterday, and yum)!

    VVK - Hahaha! Happy Thanksgiving and hugs to you, my friend.

    Dana - The funny thing is that I am so very far from Zen. And Costco is such a soul suck, although ours doesn't seem to have mean people, mostly brain damaged ones. But really, it was just so nice to wander unencumbered.

    Angel JAM - Yes! I was totally checking things out - food products I have no interest in - just because I could!

    As for the Chelada...So funny! I think you should use the coupon. We still have one in the fridge, now that I think about it.

  7. I am so with you. I used to hate grocery shopping or running errands. Now it's my sanctuary.

  8. I totally GET this and ain't no mama loves her kids more than me. But I love me my quiet and freedom too. I'll just tell you, this feeling does not go away as they grow. You just have an easier time with it cause you don't need to ask for a sitter and eventually you can send them to Costco for you! Love that part.

  9. I hate grocery shopping, it costs too much!

  10. I have never understood the appeal of Costco. Your parking lot scenario already made me twitchy. The fact that the aisles go way high, and everyone is walking in a daze, just makes it worse. I think I've reconciled with the fact that, no matter how cheap it is, we really do not need a pallet of toilet paper and an 18 pack of toothpaste. We have Fresh n Easy stores out our way, and I adore them because they're so quick!!

  11. My question: did you go in for the fleece pants or just end up with them? Because I walked out last week with a pair of Dearfoams and thought later, "Why in teh hell did I decide I needed these?"

  12. Wendy - It's just so peaceful when there are no grubby little hands grabbing, no cute little mouths making demands.

    Lynn - Ohh! One day I'll be able to hand J a list and say, thanks, sweetie!?! What a delight that will be!

    Go-Betty - It definitely goes up and up and up, doesn't it?

    Susan H - I actually would love Costco if not for the zombies staggering around. I love being able to buy enough toilet paper for six months. I hate food shopping, so the less I have to do, the better.

    Brunch Bird - Hahaha - I eyed the Dearfoams, actually. No, I was looking at cute little fleece jammies and such, and then there was this pair of workout pants with fleece inside and they looked like exactly what I need.

  13. Hehe. And I'm at home playing with your kid, having the time of my life. See how it all works out? I AM THE VILLAGE that makes these trips possible!

  14. Sometimes it's life's simple kidless pleasures that are the best. ;)

  15. i can relate to this, and im not even a mother. i like costco solo. every time matt and i go together, we argue. i don't know what it is, but costco irritates him and then he irritates me and then my costco fun is ruined. so, i sorta get it. and yay for fleece pants!


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