Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Blame it on the rain that was falling falling...

Have I told you that I take inclement weather extremely personally?

I do.

Also, today, I hate everything. The craptacular weather is like the freezy grey icing on the hate-cake that is me today. Grr! Hatey hate! Stabbity stab!

And I hate being this grumpy. Any suggestions for getting out of a grump?

Back to the weather, though. Somehow, it is all about me. And this winter, this eternal-endlessly-eternal-suckass-cold-grim-even-though-it's-officially-spring winter, has lasted MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I don't do this with nice weather. (Does one ever say clement weather? I never hear it. Only inclement.) But once it's bad weather, well, it's been visited directly upon me. Smote, I tell you, smote by the rain!

Devious droplets of dickishness.

This morning as I walked to work, the weather broke my umbrella. The wind was coming from 37 different directions and kept turning my cute red umbrella with admittedly oddly-yellow-tinted zebras inside out and now it is broken.

I felt like my two-mile walk to the office was this Sisyphean task, and I wanted to shake my fist at the gods. Instead I just glowered and stomped along, trying to avoid the other pedestrians who were also being buffeted about, trying to salvage their umbrellas.

(Which gave me the suspicion that it is not directed specifically at me. That was short-lived, though.)

And I hate wind. I am not one of those, oh, gentle breezes softly caressing my cheek! oh, for the wind in the willows! kind of people.

No. For me it is more like when we were kids and my brother and I were in the back seat of the car and there would be a Very Firm Line down the middle. And he would keep crossing it and touching me.

And I would be all, "Stop touching me! Daaaaaad! Sibling is crossing the line and touching me! Stoooooop! Touching! Me!"

I dislike the feeling on my skin. I don't even particularly like house fans. Which is unfortunate because they seem to be one of Nick's passions in life. Also the sailing. There is necessarily a lot of wind involved.

But that is a whole nother topic.

Anyway, there was the wind. And the rain. Also coming from multiple directions. And the coldy cold!

Will it ever get warm? When was the last time it was warm? I seriously cannot remember being warm.

Well, except yesterday. Yesterday was actually quite lovely.


  1. Clement -> clemency -> a reprieve from the foul prison of bad weather.

    Bad free association is apparently a byproduct of hideously awful weather. As, apparently, is the demise of what sounds like it was a truly wonderful umbrella. As for how to get ungrumped? I'm going to try eating like it's summer, and see if that helps - fruit salad, maybe something grilled?

  2. I would second the grilling idea. However, it's all well and good while you're eating said grilled item (I tried this same experiment this past weekend), but once you realize it's still miserable outside, you're likely to be even more irritated

  3. I had a fleeting thought of Seattle today - what with the cold, wind and "devious droplets of dickishness" - and thanked the lord god above that I don't live there. Even though it feels like we do today.

  4. Cioppino. And a crusty French bread. And a deep red wine. Then sorbet for dessert.

    It's impossible to be unhappy while eating what the fishermen eat. And drinking good red wine.

    It's simple, but it works for me. Every time.

  5. Go online and buy some summer sandals? Maybe if Nick reads your blog in time, he'll think to bring home some sunny flowers for you...?

  6. This rain is awful. Stupid, fickle east coast weather. You should buy a cute new umbrella because then you'll be excited to be able to use the new umbrella when it rains (as it will the next bazillion years.)

  7. In Portland, we are now at 33 days straight with rain. We also set a record for the latest day EVER in the year before we hit 60 (which we hit on March 31, then immediately dropped back to 45 degrees). I'm dying for some sun. Heck, I'd even take a rain-free day!

  8. They don't sell umbrellas in North Dakota because the weather is so bad and the wind so strong we would KILL each other with them just to watch 'em die. Especially about now...7 months in...So far wine seems to be the answer. I bought a case of it last Friday. Should last another day or so.

  9. why, why are my comments not posting? it wasn't all that clever, and not worth repeating, but why? is it me?

    (it was something along the lines of "milli vinilli, woot!) truly inspiring...

  10. that's better. there was also some commiserating re: lousy east coast weather. like i said, inspiring...

  11. Move to Austin. The Big Texas sky equates to so much sunshine it's hard to be down (even when maybe one needs to be).

  12. Freezy coldy cold this morning here in Aucks too today, ok not as freezy as you get but considering we are leaving summer and coming into winter its just not welcome right now. I am sitting at my desk and my legs are cold even through my trousers and I have eaten almost all of my lunch already and its not even 10.30am. My hands are cold and I just want to go home and eat something hot and yummy and snuggle up in
    a blanket with a good book. Ok I am going to the staff room to get another cup of tea because thats at least something warm to hold on to. bbrrrr

  13. Jessica - "Clement -> clemency -> a reprieve from the foul prison of bad weather." LOVE bad free association! Love!

    As for your suggestions, they sound nice but I am TOO cold. And grumpy.

    Babymomma - At least it dried up and got sunny today! Still coldy cold though. I want hot food that doesn't entail going outside.

    Dana - I could never, ever live in the Pacific Northwest, no matter how beautiful. I need sun. Lots and lots of sun.

    Stevie - Oh, that sounds absolutely perfect and delicious. I think I'd skip the sorbet and double the wine, and it would just be ideal. Yum.

    Susan H - I was too cold and cross to think about summer sandals. Can you imagine? Super super grrrr. But now that I'm feeling better, I really like your suggestion...:)

    Jac - Yes! Stupid fickle east coast weather. And I definitely need a cute replacement umbrella.

    Tia - You have got to be kidding me. Now I feel like I shouldn't even be complaining. I don't actually think I could deal. I really don't. I would shrivel up and die.

    Lynn - That is BRUtal. Truly brutal. Wine is definitely an answer to endless winter. Ugh. Wishing you some spring, stat!

    Coleen - I don't know, I don't know! Sometimes mine don't and I blame it on Blogger and get very irritated. And I appreciate the Milli Vanilli woot! I don't care who sang their songs - I loved them!

    HK - Sunshine is so very helpful. You are right.

    Go-Betty - I'm so sorry. At least we're heading into a season I like. And it's terrible to sit at work and freeze. It makes me so bitter and unproductive.

  14. May I borrow Devious Droplets of Dickishness?


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