Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Yes, yes, I know: #sucharichworldproblem

So we have this big Australian builder who we just love.

He and his guys were working in our house for most of Jordan's first year of life. He was the last to leave our Christmas party. His dog feels very at home in our home.

So some months ago, Betty decided she was ready to move in. She already sleeps here several nights a week, and their house is just too big. It's time to let it go and move on.

So Betty is going to move in! But first, first we need to do a bunch of construction. Beginning with putting in an elevator.

Because there are many stairs, and she will be on the third floor. A normal elevator is too big, but there are these super-cool George Jetson sort of pneumatic elevators. Seriously - look at them. They're crazy. And we are going to have one of those!

So I looked at the elevator website, and I was all, cool! They can just cut holes in the floors and stick in the tubes and it's done!

Uh, sort of. Turns out elevators are more complicated than that.

Also, and the cause of my panic: the elevator will run through what is now Jordan's room. He will need to move. We have room for him, although we're moving him to what's currently our storage room.

We've done nothing about organizing this for him.

And this morning, on the way out the door, Nick said, "So Australian Builder is coming by today or tomorrow, Betty."

What we didn't realize was this. Australian Builder is turning up today with his crew, ready to work. I just got a panicked call from Betty.

They've just taken apart the crib to get it out the door. We need to set him up down the hall, and take out all of his stuff. We've prepared not one bit for the catastrophic mess that's about to occur.

Panic! Fuck! Construction! Now! Today!


  1. Oh no! At least it's a friendly builder who won't mind that nothing was prepared. Plus an in-house elevator is totally cool and worth the hassle.

  2. Oy. Construction. Ick. It's a havoc-wreaker that's fo sho.

    Having just facelifted my house, I know. Keep calm and carry on my friend.

  3. Holy crap those elevators are cool!! Jordan is going to be the most popular kid in school when he's older and his friends find out he's got one of those at home. Good luck with the construction hell that's ahead of you - I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine!

  4. Deep breathing, and know J will be'll make his place comfy and an adventure for him.

    Good luck with the elevator install! That's way cool...Australian Builder sounds like extended fam now, so everything should go smoothly!

  5. J is going to be totally entranced by the elevator when it's done. And I'm sure your builder is probably more amused than anything.

  6. How neat! It's just like those motor-bank tubey thingies! How fun!

  7. I now have this picture of Betty being sent through a tube like one of those plastic dealies at the bank drive-through. Perhaps you'll need to install a harness seat like the roller coasters have.

    Good luck with the renovation!

  8. Oh my HELL. This made me all clenchy for you. I hope it all sorts itself out speedily.

  9. Actually I think it's best this way. You would have been all crabby about the thought of them coming and if you're like me you wouldn't have been ready no matter what. And now you HAVE to get going as opposed to procrastinating and feeling like crap about that too. Buy extra wine. Jordan will love having the builder guys back and when it's all done? Wowzer! And, I love all of you by the way, will you adopt me? I'll act as the elevator person and the maid?! No tipping even required. was eleven degrees here this morning with a new FOOT of snow on the ground! Cheers to reasons to drink huh?

  10. Well, you could have broken the news to Jordan days ago and had potentially days of crankiness or he'll learn about in time for one quick crankalicious experience.

    Cool elevator!

  11. That elevator is the business. The business!

  12. My sister moved into her house and within a couple of months was moving back out to start an 11-month renoveation. Basically the whole back of her house came off and it was extended five or six feet. She took a lot of deep breaths that year.

    I think an elevator in my new townhouse would be pretty cool. May have to look into that.

  13. Construction can be stressful but you have a crew you trust. And at the end, an elevator and Betty cozy on the third floor!

    Do be sure to move the Keep Calm and Carry On rug from J's room. That would be tragic if it were ruined in the construction. Actually, no, secure J's crew of animals and personals first.

  14. My aunt and uncle had an elevator in their home, this one is so much cooler! Let me know if I can be of any help, seriously.

  15. Happy to see that I'm not the only one that thought of the bank tube things.

    I know it sucks, but...there really is no preparing for construction. Your shit is going to be torn to pieces and it never seems like any preparation is enough, so not doing any? It all will work out just fine.

  16. That elevator is going to be fun... I can just imagine J coming up to you and saying "Go up!" "Go down!" :-)

  17. Now I want a super cool elevator. Good luck! Everything will be fine.

  18. you are going to have an elevator in your house! Jordan is the luckiest kid ever.


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