The other day I stopped into the Gap, thinking I would buy some totally basic NOT BLACK T-shirts. Because I believe spring is here.
I couldn't find any normal T-shirts. What I did find, however, were these stretchy cutoff jean shorts. For $50.
They also have them in a light wash.
They look a little more polished here, plus these women are tall with skinny-winny legs. They were more fraying and fringy in the store. The shorts, I mean.
Can someone please explain this business to me?
Now, I made some very questionable fashion decisions in my teens. (But I tell myself those were the 80s; we all made questionable fashion decisions.)
If I were younger, would I think these were awesome? Would I wear them with heels? I think I'd have to, so my legs didn't look totally stumpy. But would I feel stupid and/or hideous wearing very tight stretchy cutoff denim shorts?
I'm pretty sure I would.
Because even if I had a lawn, I certainly wouldn't mow it in those. I'd find something cheaper and more comfortable and less frightening. Something that might breathe while I was sweating. Mowing the lawn is hot work, you know? I can only imagine I would frighten the neighbors in those. And then get a yeast infection.
Which then would mean none of the s-e-x and then Nick would always be obliged to mow the lawn and he'd feel deprived with all the no-s-e-x and we'd both be grumpy and the quality of our marriage would decline.
Also, grass makes me itch. It would just be so ugly all around.
Plus, who mows the lawn in heels? I mean, if I did have a lawn. For example. Because heels and grass just do not mix. I'm going to an outside wedding next month. Shoes are always a problem at outdoor events.
I'll tell you one thing I won't be wearing, though: stretchy cutoff jean shorts.
But if they seem like something you could rock, and you understand them, would you please tell me so? Because it could be that I am old and set in my ways and suspicious of things I don't understand.
Also, it is sunny, and it is Friday, and happy everything, everyone!
Well, except the ants. Happy Terro to you guys.