Do you fight the same fights over and over?
For us, it varies in amount and intensity, but not topics. We move forward, and we circle back.
In bad periods, we fight them weekly. In good ones, months can go by. I believe much of it has to do with how much sleep we're getting, the state of our house, the amount Nick is working, my ability to hold my tongue, the position of the moon, our general stress levels, other demands on our time and energy...
In other words, there are a lot of factors at play. It's a delicate balance.
When I was young, I thought I'd grow up to look like Barbie. And I thought the state of being married would make me happy.
I never gave thought to the actual details of either.
I never thought about how marriage is just normal life, but harder. I mean, easier in that there are two of you to face challenges, and amazing in that you know that this other person always has your back, no matter what.
This is extraordinary, and not to be taken lightly.
But harder in that you are constantly compromising. The other person's priorities have to matter to you, sometimes more than your own. The other person's faults have to be forgiven. Or at any rate, you have to strive to understand, to not be so critical.
For better or for worse, you know?
I think there are easier situations, quite honestly. Maybe if we lived a different life, we could coast a bit more.
We have a toddler. Nick has a very demanding job. We're starting construction all over again. And even when this round of construction is done, the house is not done. It's just waiting for us to amass more money.
I feel like we're always working towards something, and once we get to that something, it's satisfying. But there's no just stopping and breathing and enjoying and just BEing, or anyway, very little. There's so much more to do.
There's always so much to do, so much to get done. We're like sharks. They stop, they die.
And then it's Sunday night, and the weekend is gone. Where did the time go? There's so much more to do!
We're still who we are, with the same faults, and the same frustrations. We love each other, so we keep working. There's so much more to do.
We move forward, and we circle back.
Maybe this is just how life is. I don't know. Do you ever coast?