I don't know about you, but engaging in idle speculation, no matter how frivolous or pointless, seems to be one of my favorite things.
This morning I was huffing and puffing as I put on my sneakers, and Betty asked if I needed some help.
I told her that the other day Nick had come upstairs to see if I was OK, because I’d been grunting and groaning like a stuck pig. He could hear me all the way from the living room. And I was all, “Oh, I’m just trying to put on my maternity tights.”
“Did Nick help you put them on?”
“He didn’t! You know what I need? I need a valet!”
(Of course, being all Downtonified, I pronounced it vall-et rather than the American vallay.)
Nick said, “You wouldn’t have a vall-et. You’d have a lady’s maid.”
“I don’t want a maid. I want Bates.”
“No you don’t. You thought he was pasty and squishy, remember?” (Trust my husband to remember that.)
“Oh, right! Yes! Right! But handsome in his clothes! What I really need is a Pamuk!”
Betty asked, “What’s a Pamuk?”
“Remember Poor Mr. Pamuk? The Turkish delight who died in Mary’s bed? Best looking man on the whole show.”
“Oh, yes. Did he have a heart attack?”
“I think so. Which, actually, is kind of sketchy, since he’d only be like 25 or so.”
“Maybe he had a heart condition?”
“Or maybe he was doing drugs.”
“Maybe...”
Nick broke in. “Maybe it doesn’t actually matter, since we’re talking about a fictional character?”
It's one of my favorite things too. If Nick hadn't broken in, I wonder how long the imaginative speculation would have continued?!
ReplyDeleteSadly, not that long - I had to go to work.
DeleteI love Bates, but his labored stoicism pisses me off at times. I want an Anna.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right - he does get annoying. And Anna is just so lovely. Clearly what I really want is an Anna.
DeleteWhoa whoa whoa doesn't matter? Is Nick new here?
ReplyDeleteI know! Sometimes I think I don't even know him.
Deletematernity tights? seriously? you enjoy torturing yourself????
ReplyDeleteActually, they're kind of like lighter-weight leggings, and they cover my belly, and sometimes them with a dress is just so much comfier than pants.
DeleteChloe and I were driving to the airport yesterday and spent at least half that time speculating and discussing Downton. I may have to live with her when she gets married and has children because MathMan doesn't understand the pure pleasure of Downtoning.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm going back to work, I could use a Mrs. Hudson and a Carson to keep things under control. A Daisy and Mrs. Pattmore would be fabulous, too, but I mustn't be greedy.
I am totally going to use your word - Downtoning. I don't care if the season is over. Downtoning is still a great pastime.
DeleteEven just a Mrs. Hudson. Although I think I'd choose a cook over anyone, now that I'm really thinking about it. If I could only pick one.
I really need to check out this show. It came up last night and someone told me they have public Downton Abbey parties somewhere around here... I wondered if people dress up like at Mad Men parties and the person didn't know, but how fun would that be?
ReplyDeleteIt is delicious, it really is. And if you've not seen any, you have two entire seasons of delight ahead of you.
DeleteI would LOVE to wear clothes of that era. So beautiful.