Monday, December 31, 2007

Eat more bacon

I am not, on the whole, a big maker of New Year's resolutions.

Certainly I think everyone has general self-improvement in mind at the end of the year. You say goodbye to the old year, with all its ups and downs. You might be sad or nostalgic; you might be ready to have it the fuck over with. In any case, you're saying hello to a new year and a fresh start. All kinds of possibilities!

Obviously, it's arbitrary. You could decide that the Ides of April is the day you start anew each year. But on New Year's Eve you're taking a huge leap with the rest of the Gregorian calendar-following world.

So earlier today a friend and I were talking about resolutions. And we came up with a variety of our own.

At his suggestion, we started with "eat more bacon."The way he sees it, that one is a win-win. You eat more bacon, yum, you've eaten more bacon. And if you eat less bacon, well, you see where this is going.

After an exhausting brainstorming session, here's what we came up with:
  • Eat more bacon
  • Floss less
  • Use more profanity
  • Jump to conclusions faster
  • Have less patience
  • Believe stereotypes
  • Drink more liquor
  • Bathe less frequently
  • Watch more porn
  • Overstep bounds
  • See the glass as half empty
  • Always have the last word
  • Use more gas
  • Shirk responsibility
I might add more. That's all I've got at the moment, though. Clearly 2008 is going to be a busy year.

I wish all of you the best. I hope 2008 is fantastic for you. Happy New Year and big hugs to all!


  1. I love it! More truthful than most, and more fun, too! Enjoy it, and have a great New Year's Eve!

  2. I like this list. I would say, though, that if you're going to put "always have the last word" at 3rd from the end, then the very last resolution should also be, "always have the last word." I'm just saying.

    I might add, "exercise less," since it seems to follow the theme you've got going. Worthy goals, all.

    Happy New Year, LG. See you in '08. :)

  3. I love your "overstep bounds" resolution. As someone who is repeatedly told by her friends "Set boundaries," I think overstepping bounds is a grand idea. I've never been a fan of boundaries anyway. Makes life dull. :-)

  4. I really like this list especially the eat more bacon part. Happy New Year

  5. I recently bought a cookbook devoted entirely to bacon. This might help you fulfill your resolution :)

    Happy New Year!

  6. Sarah - Thank you! You, too!

    WiB - Aaaagghh! You're absolutely right! YOU just had the last word! Well, tomorrow is another year.

    DSP - I do actually think boundaries are really important and I work at setting them, which is why that amused me so.

    Sean - Thank you! To you as well!

    nicoleantoinette - Oh, yum!!! I hope your year is great and bacon-full!

  7. Here, here! Bacon and flossing less. I totally think they are doable.

  8. Great list, yum bacon. Happy 2008 to all!

  9. Forget my resolutions for 2008 - The Year of Clean Living!

    I'm going with you list. Entirely doable and tons more fun

    Ah....2008 - The Year of My Comfort Zone.

    Happy New Years, Lisa!

  10. Happy New Year!

    Wonderful list!

  11. am loving that list. a lot.


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