Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Solipsism

The lovely and talented Lemmonex interviewed me a couple days ago. Because when I saw the interview game on her blog, it looked like fun. And so easy! I mean, all you had to type was, "interview me." Who could resist?

There are rules at the bottom if you'd like to be interviewed.

So, the questions.

1. OK, seriously...what do you miss most since learning you learned you are pregnant? Booze? Sushi? Brie? Be honest.

I miss different things in different moments - but when I miss them, I ache for them as I would for a glass of water while dying of thirst in the Gobi desert.

I miss sushi terribly. I would almost kill for a spicy tuna roll. The other night I was on the verge of tears when several of my dining companions had tuna sashimi and I had a tossed salad. I was crushed. It's not rational, but it's true.
There are other days where a glass of red wine seems like it could make my week. I could have a little tiny bit, I'm sure. But I don't want a wee bit. I want like five glasses. I don't want moderation right now.

And so I have none.

And I miss the crap out of smoked salmon. I don't want to heat it hot to make it safe before I eat it.

One thing I've not stopped is coffee. I have a cup every morning and it makes my day a hell of a lot better. This might not be the best rationale, nor is it PC, but I decided that if crack whores can carry babies anywhere near term, I ought to be able to have a fucking cup of coffee.

No?

2. What do you like best about your relationship with Nick?

Best is hard. But somewhere in the best mix would be how easy, how even, and how drama-free our relationship is. I think he gets almost all the credit for this, particularly right now.

We have fights, and we exchange really harsh words sometimes. But there is no crazy up and down, no game playing, no bullshit. We always make it clear that we still love each other, no matter how maddening the other person might be at the time.

From the first moment, he was really straightforward about how much he wanted me in his life. And when I get all spun up in my own drama, he doesn't get caught up in it. And he only lets it get so far.

It's a completely different dynamic for me, and I so appreciate it.

3. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Personality-wise: I would be more even-keeled, less prone to depressive dips and existential crises.

Physically: I would not have asthma. It's currently completely under control. But I wish I never had to think about breathing.

4. The thing you are most looking forward to about motherhood?

I had to think hard. And then my answer made me feel like a bad person.

I'm probably most looking forward to reading to (and eventually with) and doing fun little projects with my kid. I'm excited about the talking - and listening to how he or she acquires language. But truthfully, I know there are a lot of years before that happens.

You see, I have never been a baby person. I like particular kids a lot, but babies are not so much my thing. Even the ones I love, I am always happy to hand back. And yes, I am dead sure I'll love the shit out of my own baby, and I know there are a lot of baby years ahead of me...

5. Licorice--red or black?
Black! Salty black licorice is one of my favorite things on this planet. And I think the last time I had great licorice was years ago, in Germany. They have these licorice cats, and cat paws (which somehow cracks me up, eating little kitty cat paws - aren't they cute?). Super yum.

If there is somewhere in DC to buy delicious licorice, I'd love to know.

If you’d like to play along, just follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

30 comments:

  1. sounds fun! interview me :-)

    ps- you are supposed to heat up smoked salmon? i've been a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad pregnant lady...

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  2. Interview me!

    Also, I think that it's great that you're most looking forward to the reading/talking/projects stuff. I already know some parents who just want the unconditional love part, where the baby is completely dependent on them, and tend to ignore their older kids and lavish all the attention on the infant. You're looking forward to the person - how could that be a bad thing?

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  3. Alright, I'll bite. Interview me.

    I definitely feel the same way about munchkins as you do... better in short-term, and sometimes at a distance. But They say it's different when it's your own... and They're usually right, aren't they?

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  4. Learning you learned you were pregnant? I really need to proof my questions.

    Thanks for playing. I am so glad you said black licorice.

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  5. Your kid is already one of my favorite people, and I'm very much looking forward to being able to hand him/her back to you.

    Just keep that black licorice away from me. Yuck-o.

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  6. mrsmac - Cool! I will think of some good ones!

    As for smoked salmon, my Dr. said no. I didn't ask about pickled herring, because I really really wanted some...

    Dagny - I will! Awesome!

    Once again, you make me feel so rational and like a good, sound person. I love the idea of seeing who they are as a person. The completely dependent part, quite frankly, I am dreading.

    LiLu - OK, cool. Will come up with some to send along!

    They said it is completely different, and I tell you, I am banking on that.

    Lemmonex - Oh, crap. And clearly I just read what I wanted to read and never ever noticed that. Oops.

    This was fun. And the licorice question was so random. But I have very strong opinions on licorice.

    FreckledK - Ah, that's so nice! I'll probably totally understand, too.

    As for black licorice - I am always happy to eat it all and not share.

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  7. Interview me! I think the infant-completely-dependent stage is right of passage so you can later say things like "Because I said so" :) My Mom loves black licorice too. I had no idea Brie was off-limits while pregnant.

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  8. You're going to be overloaded with requests! Interview me!

    Great questions by Lemmonex, by the way.

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  9. Me too! Interview me! :-)

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  10. Coffee in moderation, i.e. a cup or so a day, has been shown to have no adverse effect on pregnancy--true science. So take your caffeine addiction and run with it! I sure as hell plan to!

    I won't bog you down with interview requests, but I enjoyed this a lot!

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  11. Salty black licorice? More power to you.

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  12. Interview me!! Fun.

    Re pregnancy deprivations, I know I'm in the minority, but I see no reason to cut out sushi, as long as it's fresh and you get it from a reputable place. There's nothing about sushi that's any more dangerous when you're pregnant than when you're not pregnant. I ate sushi the entire time I was pregnant. I also never gave up coffee. Just my two cents. :)

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  13. Don't worry about not being a "baby" person. Me either. If I could start with a 6 month old (at least!), I'd be thrilled. Kids are so much fun when they become little people! BTW, the ONLY things I gave up during my pregnancy were coffee and sushi. I still ate soft cheese, lunch meat, etc. As for sushi, I always wonder if Japanese ladies have to give it up too? I bet not!

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  14. Don't worry about not being a "baby" person. Me either. If I could start with a 6 month old (at least!), I'd be thrilled. Kids are so much fun when they become little people! BTW, the ONLY things I gave up during my pregnancy were coffee and sushi. I still ate soft cheese, lunch meat, etc. As for sushi, I always wonder if Japanese ladies have to give it up too? I bet not!

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  15. Oh, I also gave up booze!! Didn't want you to think I was a total lush!

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  16. I'm not sure about sushi because of the rawness, but there are studies that show mom's who eat fish have smarter babies, so I wouldn't worry too much.

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  17. When my son was a wee little infant, he was great, of course. But I definitely looked forward to the playing together and the reading together, I love books and language, and still have many many of my books from when I was a child. He called tomorrow "tomorr-e-o" my mom and I still exchange this greeting, though he's now outgrown it. "Talk to you tomorr-e-o."

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  18. I'm so all about it. Interview me.

    And I also love black licorice!

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  19. Fun game! salty black licorice I can think of a few people who would love that as a gift.
    I think it's different with my own because I'm so absolutely SURE she's communicating with me. I spend so much time trying to figure out her needs that when she clearly expresses a like (by smiling,touching) o r dislike (turning her head away,crying) it's as satisfying as if she'd said a half hour speech.

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  20. Ooo! Interview me, please! I mean if it's not too much trouble, that is.

    And also, I think you should tell us all when you can feel the baby kick, because I think that's cool as a never-been-pregnant person. I mean the first time. Not every time.

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  21. HKW - I certainly will! As for the "as I said so" - I never thought about that benefit to the complete dependency stage. :)

    As for brie, my understanding is that the problem is only if it's unpasteurized - and most if not all sold in the US has to be. I haven't gone looking, though.

    Beach Bum - Sure! Fun!

    And yes, Lemmonex did a very nice job with the questions.

    VVK - OK, definitely!

    Sarah - I am glad. It's helpful for me to know that. I don't need a ton of caffeine, but a cup makes my day a lot better.

    saratogajean - I know it's a very particular taste.

    Wendy - OK, cool!

    I just fret. I'd feel terrible if anything happened. And recently Betty got me all worried about liver flukes. She's stopped eating raw fish entirely for that reason.

    Cheryl - I am glad to hear that. Yes - it's totally the little people part that fascinates me.

    I don't feel constrained by the cheese - cheese is low on my list of things to miss. As for sushi and Japan, it's really interesting - I bet this list varies widely culture to culture.

    And I assumed you weren't a lush. But I wouldn't judge.

    J - I've just stopped being completely grossed out by fish (although my aversions depend on the day) so I am trying to step it up.

    Anonymous - I love it. That is completely adorable. We have a couple things like that that we say from my childhood. I love things like this.

    Rough Edges - OK, excellent! And black licorice is not popular in this country, but so delicious!

    mary - That's actually very interesting. I hadn't thought about the non-verbal cues (almost wrote cutes).

    Alex - Absolutely I will! Fun!

    As for the baby kick, I will definitely share. I'll be really excited when I actually feel something pregnanty that gives me proof there's a baby in there, rather than just thick and fat.

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  22. You can't have brie?!

    I'm never getting pregnant.

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  23. There's such a thing a red licorice? Eeoo. Black licorice rocks. My dad is German and I found a stash of those very kitty's paws you mention when I was staying with him early pregnancy. It's the only thing that I could stomach for a few days! I really really really miss sushi and brie. Wine I'm with you - all or nothing. Hope it's going well. I think I'm only a few weeks ahead of you.

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  24. I will admit that I totally ate soft cheese while pregnant with my first. A little birdie told me that all cheese in the US has to be pasteurized.

    Now with this one, I've cheated once or twice but I've cut it out for the most part. Not all cheese is pasteurized in Switzerland!!! :-(

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    ReplyDelete
  26. Have you looked at World Market for licorice? They have all sorts of interesting candy...And wouldn't you know it: red wine, as well! You know, for the day when you are feeling like just aglass.

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  27. I didn't realize that sushi was a no-no!

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  28. Wait, you can't eat brie while pregnant? Clearly I'm never having babies.

    I'm only half joking...

    Oh, and I too would like to lessen the "depressive dips and existential crises."

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  29. I love sushi, but I don't eat it nearly often enough. I'm sure if I was BANNED from eating it, though, I would want it ALL THE TIME. :)

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  30. I'm so excited you like black licorice - not b/c I like it. I actually hate it. But, b/c everytime my husband and I see it one of us has to say, "I wonder who actually likes black licorice" and we're stumped everytime. We seriously have been saying this for like 8 years and never come up with one person. Yay! I know one now.

    You don't realize all the sacrifices you have to make before you get knocked up, huh?

    Interview me - I've been on major blog hiatus and this is a great way to get me back!

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