Thursday, May 28, 2009

Working on what to say tomorrow: first draft, intro

I'd like to start by thanking you all for coming. I'm going to try to do this without crying or using profanity - but I can't guarantee either.

My dad had two overriding passions in life - his family and loved ones, and his career. My mom was the love of his life. And he was so proud of all of us, he really was.

I know that when someone leaves in what seems like a voluntary way, there are so many emotions - among them anger, abandonment, grief, devastation. But the truth is, he loved all of us, he really did. He just couldn't handle his pain any longer.

I'll let his colleagues focus on the career aspect of my dad's life. What I'd like to share with you is a bit of the family life, a bit of the personal.

Life with my dad was a constant adventure.

Sometimes it was spectacular and exhilerating. It was seeing a broadway show when I was so little that my dad brought three pillows to the theatre for me to sit on. It was a circus in Paris. Horseback riding lessons around the pyramids in Giza. A stay on a houseboat in Kashmir.

In so many of the photos we looked through for the slide show, we are laughing so hard. The backdrops are often exotic, dramatic, and beautiful. But most of all, we're hugging, we're close, and we're happy.

And sometimes it was much like being a passenger on one of those buses in the Andes or the Himalayas - the ones many of us have been on. Where you're not sure if the brakes work, and you're careening around a blind curve at top speed, and you're peering down the side of the mountain into the 3,000-foot abyss, just praying that everything comes out OK.

So it wasn't always a fun adventure. But it was never, ever boring.

32 comments:

  1. Thank you, A.S. I'm really putting a lot of thought and work into this.

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  2. both your words and the picture are perfect . . . your dad sure was a handsome man (despite those trousers - ha)

    tomorrow please remember to eat, rest, breathe, and stay hydrated.

    thinking of you.

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  3. You'll do a great job sharing your memories, and it'll end up being a wonderful tribute to your father and family. Just based on your postings about your Dad, he afforded you incredible life experiences and memories. It doesn't sound like there was much boredom in your childhood. Your father gave you images and feelings to hold onto long after his passing. You'll always have them, and the love. Hang in there. You'll do beautifully.

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  4. It sounds like your dad was an amazing man, who raised a strong and amazing daughter. I'll definitely be thinking of you tomorrow.

    And remember, don't lock your knees! You know all those videos of brides and grooms hitting the floor? It's because they lock their knees while they're standing there! Take care of yourself.

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  5. "The backdrops are often exotic, dramatic, and beautiful. But most of all, we're hugging, we're close, and we're happy."
    I love this.

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  6. Short, sweet and from the heart. That's all you can really do...good luck...

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  7. I'm sure whatever you say will be perfect. I didn't have the strength to speak at my mother's memorial service; you are brave to be able to do so.

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  8. Sweetie...you will do great. I am so sorry that I can't make it but you have been and will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

    From experience you will be surprised at how easily and eloquently the words come out, even through tears, when you are talking about your father.

    Celebrate his life. I remember the picture gathering as a truly fun experience with just my family, remembering crappy vacations, and family gatherings, but all with smiles and what looked liked good times.

    You will see your father in your little boy everyday so remember all of his best qualities and remember that you get to paint the picture of your father to him for the rest of your life....make it a great story......and sorry to say, the tears still come years later...but they are good tears.

    Love you and thinking of you.

    Delo

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  9. you have such a beautiful way with words.

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  10. This is great Lisa, very fitting. Perfect.

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  11. Beautiful...As I read it, I pictured him on the sailboat we sailed around the Greek islands. He was sitting on deck in his shorts, legs crossed, white hair blowing in the breeze, cigarette in one hand, drink beside him, and laughing.

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  12. Beautiful Lisa. It represents a window into your Dad's family life which is both broad and small - the balance of perspective and detail is perfect. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

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  13. I love this. What a beautiful tribute. Your father is and will be very proud of you.

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  14. apparently most of us had the same initial reaction - beautiful. just beautiful.

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  15. Every time I've read about your childhood- the way you traveled all over- I am in awe, and insanely jealous. Your father had to have been an amazing and exciting person to make that happen.

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  16. That is wonderful - you're going to do beautifully.

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  17. love it. and that picture just made me smile :-)

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  18. there seems to be a theme here ... the phrase "simply beautiful" is what came to my mind as well.

    good luck tomorrow - i'll be thinking of you *big hug here*

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  19. indeed!

    love the images and cherished hugs and adventures.

    fuck boring! :)

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  20. Beautiful. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

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  21. This is amazing. Lots of love to you, Lisa.

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  22. It's beautiful! It's honest and loving!!!

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  23. That was an excellent and beautiful tribute that I'm sure would make your dad proud. He sounds like he was a wonderful man Lisa. Hold on to those memories that you shared with him and your family. They will continue to help the healing in days to come.

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  24. Sounds perfect! Good luck tomorrow.

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  25. What a wonderful, honest thing to say about your father.

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  26. Very touching. I'm sure you are thankful that your life with your father was so full of adventure- and feeling.... Lots of memories. Some good, some bad, but all very, very precious.

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  27. This is so great. Writing a eulogy is a very difficult thing to do, but it sounds like you're figuring it out perfectly.

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  28. Just found your blog, I'm so sorry for your loss...
    xo

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  29. Thinking of you lots today, Lisa.
    As Little M would say: BIG HUG!!

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  30. Sorry to hear about your dad. I've been away for a while... I've been reading you a while and you have my sympathies. Peace to you.

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  31. Simply beautiful....

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