Monday, October 26, 2009

Intergalactic instructions for bathing your child

Always aim your laser beam directly at your child while you help him cling to the edge. The waves are strong and your laser will keep him safe.
Never aim your laser beam away from your child. If he stops clinging to the edge, the current is likely to wash him away.

14 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! So *that's* what they teach you about in parenting classes! Your maternal laser!

    As I understand it, the settings switch over from "keep safe" to "disapprove witheringly" as your progeny ages and deterrent measures must be changed accordingly.

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  2. Scary bathtub - I don't know that ours ever had whitecaps. But then, my mother didn't wear a skirt while bathing us either. She did and does have the laser beam stare though, almost 40 years later.
    I'm afraid to ask where you found this interesting warning sticker.

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  3. hahahahahaaaa!! Fab! And also if you turn away, your baby will look up your skirt and point and laugh.

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  4. HAHAHA! your commenters are even as funny as you!!
    warning stickers always amuse me... have you seen the ones for the cords on blinds? they put the word "strangle" in ALL CAPS everywhere on them. it's so weird.

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  5. I love the waves. It's like the warning label people don't want you to take them seriously.

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  6. Dagny - I always had a very good bitchy girlfriend laser, but I'm still honing my mama laser. And so far, Nick is the one who bathes the itty bitty.

    Susan H - This is the warning on OUR little tub! So bizarro, no?

    Miranda - Hahahaha - yes. And it's terrible when your baby points and laughs at you.

    notsojenny - My commenters are awesome. So bright and funny.

    As for the blinds...I haven't, but just heard a terrible story about a baby getting wrapped up in the CORD. Very scary.

    Hillary - Me, too. I'd like a wave tub myself.

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  7. It looks more like the ocean than a tub and the baby looks like a caterpillar that's got twigs for arms-I mean arm.

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  8. it's the prenatal vitamins that give you the laser vision.

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  9. I knew moms had laser vision! Have you used it on any annoying people that come your way?

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  10. You’re best! Go!Go!加油
    家事服務網頁設計的LaLa
    外遇/ 徵信/徵信社/室內設計是我家的網站設計有空來晃晃

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  11. Thank GOD you have those laser beam eyes!!!!!

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  12. I sold my laser on the black market. Dammit!

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  13. Lori Bouzane10/28/2009 3:41 PM

    I heart you..haven't been reading much lately on line and needed a good laugh. (-:

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