I realized something that almost knocked me over a couple days ago.
It's nothing I would ever have predicted, and nothing I would've even considered a couple months ago. It's even hard to say aloud without going, really? Are you serious?
In fact, if you know me, you will probably have a hard time believing what I'm about to say.
I have started having regular fantasies of staying home with my kid.
There. I said it.
I've never been a stay at home mom type. Or even a mom type, really.
I like adult interaction. I need a lot of mental stimulation. And honestly, I still don't like children in general.
But I love my kid with every fiber of my being.
He changes so much every day, and he's changed me in a million ways. He's so sweet and loving and just generally the best thing that has ever happened to me. Truly.
I am scheduled to go back to work in five weeks.
And you know, I've made my own money and paid my own bills since college. The idea of not doing that, not to mention stepping out of the workforce, terrifies me. And yet, I waited so long to have a baby. And there are so many Jordan moments that will never return. Do I want to miss them?
I intend to return to work as planned, I do.
But the truth is, I am all angsted up over this.