Monday, November 30, 2009

If you can imagine an infuriated French sheep at top volume

Nick sped down the stairs this morning, bursting into our room.

"Did you just suction his nose again?"

Because when I did it last night, between breastfeeding boobs and in the dark, thinking it would be easier for him that way, he'd had a howling fit.

I thought I was doing him a favor, rather than stealth assaulting him. I don't know why I assumed he wouldn't notice the end of a rubber bulb stuck in his nostril.

HYSteria. Our normally sweet little boy was beside himself.

And he has started making this particular crying noise just recently. It starts deep in his throat, like the French "R." From there, he transitions to something like the very loud "Baa" of a sheep. He gets so worked up he chokes himself.

Approximately, it is: rrrrrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Gasp! rrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHH! Snort gasp! rrrRRRAAAAHHH!

You get the idea.

It is loud and it is angry. And sometimes, when you've calmed him down, he still keeps up this low growl. Rrrrrrrr. Rrrrrrrr. Rrrrrr.

Just so you know he is Still Displeased.

On the heels of him beginning to produce this particular noise, he got a cold in New Effing Jersey. As did Betty. They're both quite sick and miserable.

Actually, I can't blame the entire state. I blame Nick's snotgobbler neice and nephews. I blame the niece most - mainly because I like her least.

And yes, I know that's neither rational nor fair.

Anyway.

So my little bunny has this cold, and he's all snotty and snuffly and miserable. Which makes him not sleep more than a couple hours at a time. Consequently, nor do we.

But this morning's outburst had nothing to do with nose suctioning. Rather, I'd enraged him by trying, oh so gently, to put him down. In his crib.

The nerve.

rrrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! rrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHH! rrrRRRAAAAHHH! HOW? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!! DON'T YOU LOVE ME? AAAAAAAAAArrrrrRRRRR RRRAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!

So Nick burst into the room to make sure I was neither stealth nose-suctioning nor gnawing off the limbs of our sweet little progeny.

I was not.

I will admit, though, to having taken advantage of his enfeebled state. First time it's been easy to clip his nails.

7 comments:

  1. I think every parent experiences a moment when he/she suspects his/her child of being not quite entirely human, based on the noises made prior to the discovery of language.

    I'm so sorry the boy and Betty are sick - it really isn't the state's fault! At least... not the whole state...

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  2. Melt your heart! I don't know how you parents mange when babies cry so hard they gasp in the middle. So sad, poor thing. I hope Jordan and Betty feel better very soon and everyone gets some sleep. Brr! It's raining and cold in sunny, mild Austin today so I can only imagine the weather in the NE and East Coast.

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  3. Dagny - Yes! I was certain he was a little alien when he first arrived. He's turned into quite a little human...but some of these noises!

    As for the state, no, I can't blame it. Definitely focusing my blame on specific children.

    HKW - I do feel very very sorry for the little guy. He's so very sweet.

    And it's an ugly grey rainy day here. Yuck yuck yuck.

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  4. can I tell you something horrid and disgusting?

    silly question, of course I can.

    my friend's child reacted the same way to the nose-suction-bulb ... so she sucked the snot out of her baby's nose. like mouth on nose. sucking. the snot. into her mouth.

    and she was all "you'll understand when you have a baby, Hillary" and I was all "no, no I do not think I will."

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  5. Hi Lisa- I got a shower gift that supposedly makes booger sucking a lot easier. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2585646

    I haven't had to use it yet, but the mom who gave it to me swears by it!

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  6. Snotgobbler made me laugh. What a great word! I hope both J and Betty feel better soon.

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  7. Hillary - I would totally do that for him if necessary. It's not anything I'd have been able to imagine before.

    Luna - Hmm. Will look into this! And booger sucking - hahaha!

    Susan H - I had a roommate from NZ who used to use that word. I love it.

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